SHAPE SHIFTING JIGSAW

Wow! What a week.  And we thought getting ready for the estate sale was tough.  This-getting ready for the movers-has it beat.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to compare this part of our experience to.  Chess?  Checkers?  Ah, yes.  Jigsaw puzzle.  It isn’t an ordinary jigsaw puzzle.  Of course not.  It’s a shape shifter.

But wait.  Let me describe the week before.  The fog in my brain felt like it was finally clearing.  I started taking walks again, doing a little yoga, seeing a few friends.  Like my best friend Debbie from high school.  A note in the mail announcing my 50th!!! high school reunion became a way to track her down.  We hadn’t seen each other in 19 years, nor had any contact since 2005.  Turns out she’s been under my nose for the last 11 years, in Raleigh.  We spent 4 hours sharing, reminiscing & laughing 2 Saturdays ago.  It was an amazing reunion though bittersweet.

After that Ben & I had to shift gears & start looking at what to get ready for the movers.  So much stuff is gone, some sold & carried off just last week.  Yet we have been amazed at how much STUFF is still left.  Little stuff.  Toiletries, kitchen items, tools, special stones….papers lying everywhere.  There are my essential & carrier oils & Ben’s bulk green tea that can’t go in the lift van (plywood crate).  The crunch is on.  The pressure is great.  What if we miss something?

With every day the puzzle changes, shifts.  Often the pieces seem to change shape just as we’re sliding them into place.  The picture graduates in size, appearing smaller, yet more complicated as we go.  The pieces are continually moving.  Misplaced or seemingly lost altogether.  And just when you think you’ve got it in hand, you realize the entire picture has changed, including the shape of the pieces:  The end table goes to the upstairs bedroom then down to the “moving room” while the sewing cart becomes the end table and the former bedside table becomes the coffee table.  I was a Home Health nurse for awhile & to do the job well you had to get creative sometimes, use what was available.  I can tell you I’m getting better at that all the time!

In the midst of it all I did my last day of Healing Touch & aromatherapy at Carol Woods.  I started there in 2012 as a clinic nurse then shifted into independent contracting with a small practice of regular clients.  Saying goodbye to my loyal clients & coworkers was not easy.  Then this past weekend I hightailed it to Boone, my stomping grounds of 32 years, to visit friends & attend my son & daughter-in-law’s baby shower.  Ran into a couple of old friends in the local craft co-op.  Stepped into Mast Store where I used to get my mail.  (It was so crowded I had to walk through it sideways!)  I’ll see the “kids” again in February but it was hard to walk away from the delightful energy of friends & family who support them.  And the memories of that place.

Emotions run high.  All I have to do is turn on “Call the Midwife” & the tears flow.  For the sadness of leaving.  For the state of the world my granddaughter Hazie will be born into.  My heart aches.  We still occasionally ask “Are we doing the right thing?  Maybe we should…” but before the thought is completed the resounding message in my heart & head is NO.  Move forward.  So be it.

I wake early in the mornings.  Mentally coaxing the shape shifting puzzle pieces into their temporary places as our moving date approaches.  Clothes for Ajijic.  Clothes for here for the next few weeks.  Clothes to be sent with the movers.  Which is which?   Towels, sheets & blankets to use while we wait for the movers to arrive-compression bags-& what about our favorite pillows?  Addresses to be changed.  Cars to be sold 🙁   We’ll be pooling our money to buy a car there at some point, meanwhile using the bus, Uber & taxis.  I have to keep reminding myself that part of my agenda in making this move is to leave a smaller footprint.

Ben finally admitted-after watching so many of his art pieces fly out the door, that we just need to order a 3rd lift van & be done with it.  What we’ve let go of is monumental.  It’s OK to say “I can’t do anymore right now”.  He’s worked hard at cleaning out his studio of 30 some years & beginning to adjust to the idea of no longer being a goldsmith.  (And, no, he will not make jewelry in Ajijic.). He has a chance now to reinvent himself, as do I.

The movers will be here in 2 days.  A man will come tomorrow to haul a couple of large items to the consignment store.  A local mover will take a few things to my son on Saturday.  The TV, coffee table, last bookcase & computer desks have been promised.  Leaving only our big red leather couch to sell.  And an old table & folding chairs to use until the last minute.  Until finally, hopefully, all the pieces will have fallen into place & our plane will land in Guadalajara on November 27th where a new puzzle will begin to take shape.