MISSING COLOR IN THE STREETS

Leaving

There is much to say about this monumental process of parting from Mexico.

It has been an amazing, often devastating, never boring experience that has made me stronger, more confident, and more resilient. I am even a hero to some…brave, courageous, strong. Not sure about that but I’m pretty proud of myself for making a timely decision and putting all the pieces in place. Thankfully I had a lot of support both in the US and in Ajijic. Kudos to all, and especially to Bert and Linda Olson, neighbors who loaned us their house for our last few weeks.

As for my blog, I wonder what I will write about from the relatively staid and colorless world I am moving back to. Ben and I left North Carolina for reasons that made sense. But I also left Mexico for reasons that also make sense. They say grandchildren and health are the 2 main reasons people leave and that is certainly true for me. Dealing with the healthcare system in Ajijic was cumbersome as were so many necessary processes. Maybe, in another year, without heart issues and profound fatigue, maybe more accustomed to being alone, I could have adapted. But I was just too tired to wait and see.

CHAPTER 73

When I told my friend Robyn in Ajijic that I was seriously thinking of moving back to North Carolina but wasn’t sure it was the right thing, she said she’d had that same conversation with her son who told her, “It’s a new chapter Mom. It’s just a new chapter.” So let’s call this Chapter 73, a nod to my current age and to adventures I’d never dreamed of.

Tumi and I arrived here in Hillsborough a few weeks ago after a long 5-day trip in a van with our wonderful driver, Bryan Clark. Some days, we were on the road for 9 hours or more, pushing to get to my apartment and my friends as early as possible on that 5th day, after which Bryan would turn right around and head back after we unloaded the van. I don’t know how he does it.

Leaving Mexico at Nuevo Laredo was bittersweet. Within moments, heading toward our border check (easy), the scenery and the atmosphere changed from funky to seemingly perfect, orderly, not characteristics you generally attribute to México. All the way, I wondered how I will adapt to this, once again, huge change. Am I being realistic? Or idealistic? Only time will tell.

Bryan mapped the whole trip out and made reservations ahead of time, as he has done for numerous other travelers. Tumi struggled the first day, but eventually, perched on his bed secured behind my seat, he became a good traveler. He alternated between sleeping and watching the road ahead. Like the social being he is, he cheerfully greeted everyone we came across in motels and gas stations. Still, it was tough to be locked into a seat, wheels in motion, day after day. He handled it better than I did.

By the 4th day of frantic unpacking, I had a raging cold. When a retired physician friend asked how she could help, I requested cold/cough medicine. The bag also contained a Covid test. Casually, halfway through our conversation, she said…”Chris, I think you have Covid.” And she was right. Why not? After months, no, years of pushing through Ben’s illness, my grief, my heart issues, and then all the myriad details of an international move, my immune system had finally crashed. Boxes sat in piles and towers waiting to reveal their secrets. I unloaded one now and then, each time deciding what to do with the remains…recycle the paper, break down the boxes…but what about all that messy bubble wrap? It was an exhausting process and I finally realized I had to pace myself. Covid kicked my butt! Even so, I don’t live well in chaos with things scattered everywhere, so I plowed through as best I could until the place was livable.

Our apartment is on the ground floor of a 3-story building (far left), surrounded by trees and an overflow pond that comes and goes. In fact, my tiny, tiny patio is only about 12′ from the woods. Private, but darker and certainly damper than I’m used to. But we’re adapting. The AC is on today because the humidity is 96%! Glad to have it – the AC! I leave the lights on more than I’m used to. I go to the community laundry (I’ve learned to pay with my phone!) and the “wireless lounge” where I can print things from email. I’ve always liked the idea of communal sharing. Do we all really need our own equipment? It’s a whole different world. As expected. I know now that I came looking for a simpler life (not so much yet) but mostly for the comfort of what is familiar.

My apartment is gradually taking shape. Tumi is learning to use the magnetic screen door to be in his fenced-in patio space. Thankfully there are a lot of neighborhoods and nearby trails to walk (I do NOT miss the cobblestones!). I have nice neighbors who are already looking out for me, including a young Mexican family transferred from Monterey, Mexico, who moved in just before I did. I see friends regularly. I am now under the care of a cardiologist at Duke and tests to determine next steps are already underway.

There are days I long for Mexico. Days when I crave the “color in the streets”. I’ve made my own color here in my apartment. But it surely isn’t the same. Mexico will always call my name. And as the famous (in Ajijic) Neill James wrote: ‘Once you have been to Mexico, you will always have dust on your heart.’ Anyone who’s lived through the dry season there will understand.

Saludos to all my Mexican friends who taught me so much about their culture:

And oh so many more… Muchísimas gracias! Viva México! My world is better for knowing you! Hasta pronto Amigos!