LOCKDOWN IN PARADISE

Maybe it’s ending today…this lockdown we’ve all been under (though not all have taken it seriously).  Hair salons, some restaurants, and other “essential” businesses are allowed to open in Ajijic now.  Like so many others, I wonder how it will feel to re-enter the “rat race”, though that phrase has a different meaning in this village of gringo-Mexican mix.  We thought we’d be relaxing once we retired but moving here sent us into a spin of problem-solving, searching, shopping, eating out, attending events, making new friends, and dealing with LOTS of traffic. Not so bad compared to an 8 to 5, but busy nonetheless.

Then COVID-19 hit.  And here we are.  At first I was nearly ecstatic at being sequestered.  Wow!  You mean I’ll actually have time to do all those things I’ve wanted to do for years while I was working but was too exhausted or distracted to do?  So I’ll dig in, right?  Spanish, books to read, aromatherapy and Healing Touch information to review, mending/sewing, writing in my journal to my son, more yoga and meditation…the list goes on.  Somewhere in my upbringing – probably Depression era parental/Christian work ethics – I became a project driven maniac.  If you aren’t productive, you aren’t a good person.  You aren’t valuable.  So dig in.  Wrong.  I am just not motivated.  Everyday seems the same except for cleaning a different part of the house.

I made a few phone calls to the states early on hoping to maintain beloved friendships. After awhile I just started sinking into the couch or the guest bed for hours at a time.  The new season of OUTLANDER became my escape, after I made my way through dozens of episodes of 5 or 6 Turkish cop shows.  I tear up at the OUTLANDER episodes since they take place in the mountains of North Carolina.  (Though they were filmed in Scotland!)  My Spanish books are on the terrace, but I’m bored with them.  Can’t stick to it.  Sewing?  Too much trouble.  I’ll probably never make those clothes I cut out a few years ago.  Yoga has been replaced by…oh, yeah!  I forgot to tell you we decided to get a dog.

There are an amazing number of street dogs, puppies, and abandoned mutts here.  It’s sad really.  Gratefully, gringos have taken on the task of gathering them up, feeding, neutering, and placing them.  We adopted our 4 year old schnauzer Tomi (like Toni with an “m”) from a young woman who had to move away.  Thanks to him our 2-4 hour morning leisure time with tea, coffee, and iPads has been cut in half, propelling us out the door for a walk before the heat sets in.  About 50% of us walking on the streets are wearing “cubrebocas”, masks, now.  We’re learning not to judge the ones who aren’t, just steer clear of them.  We are all dealing with this in our own way.

Now self-reflection stares me in the face.  While I sometimes worry that I will curl up in fetal position during this lockdown, slide into depression, and never surface again, I find I’m learning more about myself every day.  Wherever you go there you are.  Be here now.  Issues I’ve buried for years are surfacing to be dealt with.  The “letting go” that keeps popping up for me is becoming more of a reality and less of a cliche.  (Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert and Matt Kahn.)  My partner Ben, whom I thought would drive me crazy the whole time (should I move into the casita?), has become adept at listening and asking thought provoking questions.

Like others who’s stories I’ve read, I’m nervous about transitioning back out into the world.  Nervous about a new wave of COVID-19 once everyone drops back into “normal life”.  I know there are many in Mexico and the US who are struggling financially and I worry about them.  How long will this virus run out of control?  How will our lives, our cultures change?  How many of us will just pretend it never happened and learn nothing from it?

I miss my son and his family, my friends, the landscape and familiarity of North Carolina.  A few years ago I asked my daughter in law what she thought about us moving to Mexico.  She looked at me and asked “What will you do if you get down there and you can’t get back?”  I’d never considered the possibility.  Now I wonder – when will I get back?  Will it be safe?  In July it’ll be a year since I’ve seen my granddaughter.  Sadness creeps in.  I miss traveling.  I miss seeing other parts of Mexico.  I miss the color in the streets.  I’m blessed to have mountains surrounding me and beautiful Lake Chapala in front.  A pool in my yard.  Patience is a virtue.  I hope you are, and will remain, well.

Post note: If you read my last 2 blogs on the effects of the pandemic on Mexican artisans and would like more information on how to help, please go to the Facebook page of Los Amigos Del Artes Popular for some answers.  Also check out “Amazon Hand Made“, FONART, and Dean Miller’s Facebook page “Art & Artisans of México”.  Gracias mis amigos!