The thrill is gone. The honeymoon is over. Why are we here? What if we went back home? How can I keep my spirits up? What am I grateful for? Why am I so irritable? Why am I having anxiety attacks with only the worst scenarios at night? I wanted to see México. I wanted to see my granddaughter. I wanted to go out with new friends. And old. When?
We walk every morning because our pup insists on it, because he lives for his morning walk, because he runs circles in excitement when he sees us getting ready. And we know it’s good for us, too. But we dread it everyday. Every day. I read an article this morning about “emotional exhaustion” & ticked off nearly every symptom. No wonder I dread those walks. Even though I know that on some level I’ll feel better when we’re back home. I know that both my body & my mind will be grateful that I took that 4200 step walk through nearby neighborhoods.
An article by Alia E. Dastagir in USA Today, linked through Maria Shriver’s excellent SUNDAY PAPER info@mariashriver.com (01/17/21), lists the symptoms of “emotional exhaustion”:
Difficulty with concentration
Irritability
Nervousness
Frustration
Loss of motivation
Lack of focus
General ‘brain fog’
Feeling disconnected from other people
A sense you’re not effective or competent (even if you’ve been overperforming at home or at work)
Actual problems with performance, including making more mistakes than usual
Physical symptoms can include:
Muscle fatigue & tension
Headaches
Stomach problems
Sleep problems
I list these to give you some kind of barometer to measure your own symptoms against. There are 3 categories listed as ways to “reset”:
Set boundaries/Don’t try to be a superhero/Figure out what “refills” you emotionally. All important. And I would add to use techniques like meditation, yoga & deep breathing to keep you in the moment. That’s when I do best.
As long as I’m holding my head above water I’m going to allow this exhaustion. An AA tenet says “the only way out is through” & that certainly applies here. After all, where could you go & not encounter the same issues at this point in time? The ticket is to keep moving. Get off the bed or the couch several times a day & DO SOMETHING. Because often I’d rather not, you know. I’m retired. I have the luxury of setting my own schedule. I’d rather escape into Netflix or Amazon Prime. I’ve seen some great stuff these past few months. And I’ve read a lot of good books, worked a lot of jigsaw puzzles on my iPad. But it’s probably getting out for the morning walk (& contact with friends by phone or email) that saves me.
So how are YOU feeling? We’re all in this together. Come take a walk with me.
I wrote this yesterday & realize I’m feeling better today. Just being able to put how I feel in writing helped. Today I’ve decided to schedule a time to write & study Spanish each day. Maybe that will help. Maybe having a new President & Vice President will help. Maybe 2021 will be the beginning of a better life, a better world, for all.
Thanks for listing my symptoms, Chris. It’s good to know that someone has named this misery that so many people I know are experiencing. Such a bummer, and no end in sight. We had our first shots last week and are scheduled to get the second mid Feb. But until many more people get both shots, we still need to greatly restrict where we go and what we do. I’m glad you have a little dog to drag you out each morning. We take a walk every day (unless it’s pouring), and I always feel better afterward. Take good care of yourself. Much love to you, Mary
Dear Mary. Always so good to hear from you. Thank you for your continued support. I’ve had several comments on the post & by email this time. I hoped to give permission to say just how bummed we are by this mess. I don’t always feel like being the Good Girl. Thank God the politics have shifted giving us some relief. My Hazie will be 2 tomorrow. My arms long to hold her. Stay well! Love to you.
Thanks, Chris, for your honest thoughts. We are definitely all in this together, and I agree, where would anyone go to get a break from all our challenges? I know part of what I am feeling is utter exhaustion. It has been a long, tough four years of mayhem. And then Covid, amplified by no helpful response from our leaders. We all need a break and a chance to pull ourselves, and our country, back together. I believe that after acknowledgement of what we have suffered and by whom, healing will come.
Peace and hope,
Gayle
Dear Gayle,
Thanks so much for your response. I’d hope to set an example of voicing our pain rather than just “pulling ourselves together”. Can’t push these 4 years out of the way without some processing. But there is hope now, along with the hard work to be done.
Blessings & courage to All!
Hey Chris, it’s Vickie McDaniel in the states! I’m with you! Although in different places, we are experiencing the same things. I’m grateful to work (although behind closed doors). I’m working on new projects that I had to put in place, but weekends are the worst when we all thought we’d be out with our friends and families having a great time. I feel your pain, but keep walking the dog – probably the best thing you can do and keep writing the blog! Hugs…Vickie
Thank you so much for following along & offering your support! Sometimes I think of giving it up. The blog that is. Wondering if it really matters to anyone. Then I get folks like you saying NO! It keeps me going. I did write with others in mind who might feel the same but be afraid to admit it. Speak up! Take care & stay well. Gracias!
Hello, Sweet Friend, I’m sad that you’re having to go through this, and I’m sad that I’m not packing my suitcase to come visit as was my plan!! Your little dog therapist was a gift!! I’ve thought maybe I need one, but not yet. Let’s talk this weekend or maybe Monday. Love.
Thanks Dear Robin. I know that this will pass. Part of my MO was letting people know it’s ok to feel rotten & ok to talk about it. I spent so many years being the good preacher’s daughter, not allowed to complain or make mistakes, that it is cathartic to say my piece/peace.
Yes! Let’s talk. I have a question for you.
Glad you’re feeling better today Chris. Some days are definitely better than others. Having a timeline to accomplish something helps me a lot, at least gets me motivated. Like, I need to sew up this fabric, or clean out these papers, or learn how to make sourdough loaves, or plant all these seeds, before some imagined time in my head, (like before I get Covid🤔) love you, always good to hear from you sister!
Gracias Sister! I was fired up, ready to help the women in Tepehua but Covid took over & now we’re in lockdown again. I’m trying to take care of mending, etc. Things I’ve let slide. But that’s not always motivating. And, yes, some days are better than others. Thanks for your love & support. You have mine as well.
It’s true. People are feeling the same everywhere. A general depression, fatigue, anxiety. It has even affected my physical health on a very deep level. So I’m glad that you have that little dog to get you outside everyday! It is good medicine. And you have a beautiful and interesting place to walk. Gratitude is one of the keys here. ❤️🐕☀️🌺🌿 Sending love to your yearning spirit.
Dear Sweet Teresa. Thank you for your support. And you’re right, gratitude is certainly important. I’m coaching myself in it each morning. Please be well 🙂
I love the pictures. We are all ready to be able to walk around and visit people and places without having to worry. Keep the good spirits.
Thanks, Gordon. I know you’re right. Part of my MO was to reach out to let others know that it’s OK to embrace & say how you feel. Thanks for reaching out. Stay well.
Hope you feel better soon.
Peace.
Thanks Wendy. Combined with adjusting to retirement, diving into a new culture by moving to Mexico, then moving into a new house 2 weeks before Covid lockdown AND not getting to see my Hazie, it’s been a lot to cope with. This too shall pass. Take care.