FINDING HOME

We got our visas (“green cards”) this week, after a great deal of work & patience. Does that mean we’re home? “…There’s a big psychological difference between feeling at home and being home…Some people, as they move through their lives, rediscover home again and again. Some people never find another after once leaving home. And, of course, some people never leave the one home they’ve always known.” (https://www.smithsonianmag.com/)

As a Methodist preacher’s daughter I moved every 3-4 years for the first 18 years of my life. When I married & lived in Boone, North Carolina, different circumstances led to 9 moves in the first 2 years of marriage. And at least 6 or 8 more in the next 30 years. I am not a stranger to change. Finding home is in my blood. For Ben it’s been tougher. He lived his whole childhood on a hillside in Virginia then moved out of state to Chicago, to Richmond, VA, & eventually to North Carolina during his young adult years. His roots grew in Hillsborough where he worked as a goldsmith in his backyard studio for nearly 30 years. He thought he was home for good. But with retirement came the eagerness to flee, to leave the familiar “grind” behind for a new adventure. He’s worked hard & it will take him longer, I believe, to unwind, to find home.

Wherever I’ve gone my first instinct has been to create an orderly space that I can call home for whatever length of time evolves. This was such a huge move, leaving so many of our collective items behind, that it seemed even more important to me to dig in, organize, decorate, create the space that I could, we could, call home. That creation, that creativity & resourcefulness, gives me peace, gives me energy, gives me a sense of belonging. It is my life blood.

I’ve often noted in my past that once I could walk or drive down the street wherever I lived & see people wave to me, I was home. It’s happening here for me after only a few weeks. The Mexican store clerk who’s wife is a nurse in Oregon waves & smiles when he sees me in the parking lot. Our lawyer speaks as she passes me on the street. A neighbor honks her horn as she drives by. It’s happening.

Women gather more than men I’d wager. I’ve spent hours already with my female neighbors discussing spirituality & books, food & fabrics & local gossip, or just strolling through the neighborhood. Relationships become the meat of daily life. How can I help the people I know? How can I know them better? Lupita from the Women’s Co-Op; Azucena, our lawyer, & Sophia, her sister; the women selling vegetables on the plaza on Fridays; Carla who waits on us at a local restaurant; Sylvia who answers my questions at the cellphone office; not to ignore male friends-Jorge, owner of my favorite vegetarian restaurant & Roberto, our landlord, who is always so glad to see us wherever we are, and so many more. Already they are part & parcel of my life here.

Finding home is partly about finding services. Groceries: the Tuesday & Wednesday markets & the local “convenience” store serve us well. We buy a few veggies/fruits from the store if we run out but mostly we love the locally made Mexican chocolate bars! Yum! A new twist is the old truck with the loud speaker blasting beautiful Mexican ballads that shows up once or twice a week. “Kooka” offers tamales, chayotes, corn & avocados-6-8 for $1! Beauty shop: Crisco’s Salon is within easy walking distance. Angel & Mary Sol speak excellent English. Haircuts for women here run $12-30, pedicures $12-20. Health care: We already know the Clinica Ajijic & Dr. Rodriquez. I understand there is an integrative physician on the other side of town & I will meet her eventually. Health care is inexpensive, timely & compassionate. Bills: We pay our gas bill at a nearby convenience store, our landline bill online, cellphone bill in person on the other side of town. Small stuff: The “dollar store” near the plaza has most small items we need/want. Pharmacy: Farmacia Guadalajara, a local chain, is on the main highway. Medications are cheap & only psychotropics, antibiotics & narcotics require prescriptions. (Though things like Epsom salts are nowhere to be found here.) There are other pharmacies scattered about town that have some basics but most specialize in one thing or another. My favorite is the Farmacia Homeopatico on the plaza. Hardware stores: There’s one on nearly every block & though they each tend to specialize in something, they all have some basics. Health food store: El Granero is in central Ajijic. What they don’t have they will often order. Costco: I add this because it became an infrequent but dependable source of a few bulk items for me back in NC. Here Costco is an hour away but Lakeside Shopping Service delivers for $7.50 (150 pesos)!

Settling into a routine helps create home as well. The simple act of making a bed has become a task that settles my mind & gives me a feeling of peace & accomplishment. Old fashioned, I know, but perhaps primal as well. Washing clothes & bathing are not as satisfying for me. Washers are notoriously cranky here & ours is no exception. The water pressure in the shower is mediocre & the water heater is too small to provide a nice tub of steamy water to soak in. These things may be particular to our house so for now I have to learn to live with them. It’s different, though, now that we’re retired. I’m learning not to feel guilty if I read novels (historical or otherwise) for hours. I even set up my sewing machine on the terrace yesterday & started on an apron/smock I cut out over 10 years ago. I’ve watched only 1 streamed TV show-British, of course-& don’t miss it much at all. We haven’t gotten a TV yet. It just doesn’t seem to matter right now. But we do keep up with friends & family by email, Facebook & WhatsApp frequently throughout the day. And I must say that it helps me feel connected to all those from the States (Estados Unidos) that I hold dear. Besides! I have a granddaughter due any day now! Gotta stay informed.

Learning the language poco a poco brings me closer to knowing , learning about the Mexican people. Bus & taxi drivers, waiters & waitresses, store clerks. They’re all so willing to help. Lake Chapala Society regularly offers several different Spanish classes. Last week I took a 2 hour class called “Street Spanish”. Who knew that “Adios” can mean hello as well as goodbye? A delightful introduction to the fascial expression/body language of Spanish. More to come. I want to know the people here, to know what is important to them, to know how their lives differ from my own. Relationships. We are all on this planet together. Times are tough. Hold on. Hold hands. Hold hearts. We are all finding home.