Category: Blogging

What’s better than knowing there’s a child on the way?  I can hardly wait to meet my granddaughter Hazie.  I hope she will call me Abuelacita.

Last week I journeyed up to Boone for a couple of days, visiting old haunts & old friends.  Attended the baby shower hosted for my son & daughter-in-law by her family in Valle Crucis.  We lived there when my son Japhy was born so there are always many memories for me there.  Toni’s family-the Masts-were the original owners of the famous Mast Store & they are deeply tied to the Valle.  It was lovely to be with them at such a joyful event.  We’ll be back in February to meet Hazel Grace Ferguson.  Who already has an extensive library, I might add.  Including FRIDA COUNTS TO 10 in Spanish & English.  Start ’em out early I say.
The movers have come & gone.  They were fast, efficient & friendly.  It was amazing to see our household (for the next household) wrapped up & crated in 4 hours.  It was intense.  We stuck close trying to make sure nothing was missed or mistreated.  As it was a closet of clothes was missed & they graciously returned the next day to add it-& a few other items.  We’d ordered a 3rd crate but ultimately barely filled 2 thanks to Greg & Edgar’s packing methods.I’ll never forget the repetitive, rapid-fire sound of packing tape ripping.  And the sight of things disappearing into boxes.  There were words of encouragement from friends on this cool, sunny day as we interacted with exhaustion from a night up sick with worry.  Thank God for friends!  The truck will head to Laredo, TX soon to meet Strom White movers at the border.  They will carry the load through customs.  For that to happen copies of my Mexican visa & passport had to be scanned to the Ajijic office, anything with a cord had to be listed with make, model & serial number, boxes had to be numbered & marked with category of contents & letters in Spanish verifying the intent to move household goods had to be signed & scanned.

We are now down to borrowed tables & dishes, folding chairs, our queen size mattress-I forgot to say that yesterday a local mover came & took a small van load, including our king mattress, to my son in Charlotte-a sling chair Ben used at shows, & our red leather couch.  Which we can’t seem to find a home for-anyone interested?  Great recliner on each end.  We sometimes open a drawer or cabinet & realize the item we’re looking for is already gone.  So we adjust & find another way to do things.  But we are somehow content with it.  And we are sleeping better.

The clearing of the house has equaled the clearing of my mind & the halting of the buy-maintain-get rid of cycle leaves time to rest or read or visit friends.  I still watch at least one episode of CALL THE MIDWIFE daily & let the tears roll.  So cathartic.  Initially nursing was a calling for me.  A gift of giving.  Eventually it became a job that paid the bills.  I became more reclusive after hours, more self-absorbed-I gave at the office.  It was survival.  Less stuff means fewer decisions to make & saves time to be more…I started to say “productive”.  But productivity carries a heavy weight in nursing.  When laptops & timed visits entered the Home Health world the attention to patients declined.  (I love that CALL THE MIDWIFE addresses this in Season 6 that takes place in the ’60’s.)  That was the beginning of the end of my career.  Now I am ready & able to give.  To be generous.  To be joyful.

The next 2 weeks will be filled with meals with friends, finishing up of logistics, final trips to OCIM & My Secret Closet.  Ben’s sister Myra & her husband bought both our vehicles & will pick them up the Saturday before we leave.  At that point we’ll practice walking or using Uber if we must get somewhere, just as we’ll do in Ajijic for awhile.  Simple.  It’s all we need.

Finally, let me thank friends who’ve so generously offered to share whatever we might need, including food & fellowship.  And thanks to All American Relocation out of Raleigh & Alamance Moving Company out of Burlington for helping us through this stage of our adventure.  Muchas gracias mis amigos!

 

(As a post note let me say that in just looking over my cache of posts I realize that I’ve repeated some things in this post.  But I will leave it.  And hope you enjoy those things a second time.  Perhaps it is a reflection of my mind going over & over things.  Or just a confirmation of the joy of family & friends.)

 

209 N Occoneechee St has been my home for 14 years.  For Ben it’s been 30.  I remember thinking early on how after so many years of moving hither & thither, I had finally found roots in this little town.

Deconstruction: For 2 weeks the Baby Boomers crew worked 4+ hours daily taking our house apart.  Being someone who’s always enjoyed rearranging & decorating, I was initially energized by it.  Working with the crew was a delight-as much as it could be under these circumstances-& we both enjoyed getting to know them as they became intimately knowledgeable about our living style, working around areas I designated as “untouchable” until the last day. Ben began taking his studio apart, the place he’s worked for 30 some years, wading through stacks of supplies, receipts, memories, carrying some things to the house for sale, tossing some, holding on tightly to others.  This is painful stuff, deconstructing your identity.

Reconstruction: Staging & tagging took monumental effort as the crew researched ebay, Amazon & other sources to come up with fair prices.  Most of the smaller items for sale were collected by Ben over the years & he knew each artist.

Anticipation: My dear friend Denise offered her lovely house as a respite during the sale. We took care of their sweet dog, Cassie, & felt safe & comfortable during the weekend.  Rescue Remedy helped as my anxiety heightened.  So did a trip to the Raleigh Museum to see the Georgia O’Keefe/Candida Hoffer exhibit.

Purge: Saturday-shocked-why is there so much left?  Sunday-relieved-so much gone now. “Empty” house-what’s missing? Did our friends come? Buy something out of sentiment?  It was a good turnout we’re told.  Friends did come by to take a little piece of us home.  It feels good.

Funny how so many folks want to get together now.  Meet-ups we’ve talked about for months, or years.  And there simply isn’t time.  My advice?  Don’t wait!  Don’t wait to be with the people you care about &/or are interested in.  Do it NOW.  And don’t fill your house up with stuff you don’t love or need.  Don’t leave it for someone else to do.  Don’t leave it for yourself to do-someday.  Do it NOW.  And it’s about the planet as well.  It’s about using more resources than we could possibly need.  It’s about recyclables that are only 9% recycled.  It’s about the time you spend buying, taking care of & getting rid of STUFF.  I know.  You’ve heard this before.  And I’ll continue to say it-to remind myself & you-because it is to vital to our planet.

On November 8th the movers will come & pack up our 2 crates (lift-vans) & head out to Laredo, TX to meet our Mexican company that will carry it all through customs & store it in Ajijic until we get there.  November 10th another mover will come & carry off a few large items for my son & daughter-in-law & granddaughter to be.  For 2 & 1/2 weeks after that we will camp out in our house with a few items Ben’s cousin will take after we leave & a few borrowed items.  With plenty of food, a good book to read, a roof over our heads, a good heating system & a hot shower when we need it.  Enough…more is more than enough.

A movie title comes to mind now…THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING.  And it strikes me that we are perhaps not meant to be weighed down by objects but to delight in the space & people around us.  Home, as they say, is where the heart is.

Give a little bit…Give a little bit of yourself…

This week has been a week of strangers running in & out of our house.  Bathroom remodeling & estate sale prep.  Everything coming apart then being put back together in some unfamiliar way.  The Baby Boomer Estate Sales folks have been in our house for 4-5 hours daily.  Great folks & it’s fun-at first-to talk about all the THINGS they discover in your house.  Then you begin to realize that each item has some significance in your life.  Each one holds a memory.  And it haunts you a little.  They say memories are better than things…”mem’ries, in the corners of my mind”.  But am I selling a piece of my soul with each item I set on the sales table?

Certain words come to mind in this process: Deconstruction (to break down into parts, dissect, dismantle-ah, there it is); Purging (to rid of whatever is undesirable); Non-attachment (Buddhist term for, well, it’s obvious). But even reviewing the words somehow perpetuates holding on.  The bottom line is-Stuff consumes your time, money & energy.  You buy it, care for it, sell it.  You must have it.  And it must be bigger, shinier, brighter, cleaner.  Mostly you must buy it.  But perhaps that is a whole different post.  And I must remember that many of these things we cherish are handmade, singular, useful, beautiful.

But back to memories.  Some things, special things, have already been parceled out in special wrappings to friends, creating more memories.  Then there are all those things holding memories of my past.  The signature blue & pink Pisgah Forest Pottery vase picked from the shelves of a well-known Maggie Valley family as a gift to my mother when I was 12.  The dresser & mirror handmade by my paternal grandfather & coveted for years until my mother’s death.  The Diego Rivera poster, part of a wonderful journey to New Mexico with my dear friend Margaret.  The large blue pottery vase given to me by the wife of a cancer patient that I had visited as a massage therapist.  The blue (I’m seeing a theme here) & white creamer & sugar bowl purchased in Portland, Maine, while attending a long-term care nurses conference where I was honored to be 1 of 13 nurses from all over the country chosen for a special committee.

 

 

The black & white photo captures the reunion of Black Mountain College alumni & family on the Lake Eden campus in the late ’90’s where I was a volunteer.  The Kwan Yin statue was a gift during a meaningful exchange of dear objects while I was attending Body Therapy Institute as a massage student.  The peach satin dress- a real find @ My Secret Closet-worn to my son’s wonderful wedding in a mountain field 2 years ago.   Each item holds a memory.  Some more dear than others.  All pieces of the puzzle that is me.

 

 

Ben, too, has his memorable objects & walks room to room sharing his own thoughts with the sales team.  He has been in the craft world for nearly 40 years & has collected & traded for those objects all that time.  For him, & for myself really, it is hardest to let go of the things, created or shared by those who have left this world.

This week has been frenetic, unnerving, exhausting, overwhelming, bringing home the “what are we doing’ question once again.   There were moments we could not stand the sound of another voice, another hammer or saw, another slam of a door.  In the midst of it all we somehow managed to obtain our Mexican visas from the Consulate in Raleigh & to book our parting flights for November 27th.  Big accomplishments.  Now the bathroom is nearly done & the sale is only a week away, after months of preparation.  And with each item sold I’ll give, we’ll give, a little bit, a little piece of ourselves, of who we’ve been throughout our lives & the energy of those items, to those who walk away.  I hope they’ll leave with a smile knowing that they also have now created, collected another memory.  For themselves.  And for us, as we make our way to creating new memories.

Searching for an image of how this current period of time feels it hits me in early morning. Why so tired? It’s simply from holding on through the whip of the tail.

Ungrounded. Overwhelmed. Strangers & strange noises inside (& outside) the house for hours every day. Somewhere along the way I’ve encountered a children’s story, a cartoon (COCO maybe?) or a sci-fi movie that gives me the image of a very large but very kind dragon (the little green guy on the left-cute, huh? not sooo scarey)  & his enormous tail. And I get it-that’s how it feels! Like holding on to a whipping, high-in-the sky tail as this huge “creature” we’ve created through our decisions flies through the air (with the greatest of ease). Don’t ask me how I know this.

Self-care becomes even more important at this point-essential oils, acupuncture, Healing Touch, time with friends, rest & just getting out of the house (someone has to be here all the time now) are a must.  Coming up with food is the toughest piece-by the time lunch comes around we’re too busy to leave the house for pick-up & by evening we’re too exhausted to cook or go out. Cereal & shakes get old after awhile, especially if you’re big veggie eaters.  Haven’t solved this one yet.

So I reminisce, looking at Hillsborough, my home of 14 years (Ben’s for 30), in a whole new way.  It truly is a beautiful little place. Developing into a lovely family town with Poets’ Walk, the Riverwalk, the biennial puppet parade, new sidewalks connecting old & new places, Weaver Street Market, a growing restaurant selection, outdoor dining (though I do think the restaurants grabbed up too much of the new sidewalks), old buildings repurposed (Did I tell you? If I was head of “the Building Committee”, no new buildings would be approved until all current spaces were put to use. So there!), gardens, old trees, crepe myrtles…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wading through the “muck” of moving out of the country is layered now with unexpected renovations & repairs. Even so, with nerves on edge & deer-in-the-headlights eyes (do I bolt now? later? when??? am I safe? can I do this???), I slowly realize how much progress we’ve made, how much we’ve actually accomplished.

The steps in the notebook marked for 3 months, 2 months, 1 month, 1 week, 1 day, begin to thin out.  There are hatch marks & highlights & checkmarks on the pages.

The party is over (such fun!), important dates set, details outlined.  Our Global Entry cards came today. The sales team starts their 2 weeks of tagging & staging items for sale (October 20/21-y’all come!) on Monday.  I turned in my notice as independent contractor @ Carol Woods yesterday (November 1 is my last day).  The studio is partially cleaned up & the wall dividing the garage into storage units is nearly done.  There are still repairs pending & a new shower door to be installed.  But it will come.

More than one friend has told me we’re crazy.  We’ll see.  All I know is that as each door opens I enter in with some kind of faith that this is the path we need to be on.  The dragon’s tail is in full swing and we are holding on for Dear Life.  This too shall pass.

‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free/’Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be/and when we find ourselves in the place just right/’Twill be in the valley of love and delight. (Elder Joseph)

Tears roll down my face & my heart races as my material world comes apart all around me.  This has been a week of many shifts-the moving surveyor came to estimate our moving cost, the small roof & bathroom repairs turned into major changes, the estate salesman posted the first announcement of our sale on line, we had our final gathering of friends in this house…..Once or twice a week my “fight or flight” system kicks in & I have a meltdown.  (Thanks to my dear friend & acupuncturist Robin for helping me navigate.).  It’s all about wading through the “muck”.  Some days I’m better at it than others.

I feel like a racehorse some days, with short, straight pathways leading to periodic hurdles, some pleasurable, some painful.  There are days of mindless tasks listed on my day planner followed by events, hurdles, if you will-the moving survey, the adios party, the estate sale, the trip to Charlotte-Douglas International Airport for Global Entry interviews with a chance to see my son & daughter in law, the visit to the Mexican consulate for visas, a long delayed trip to see friends in Boone combined with a family baby shower for my granddaughter to be, movers coming to pack up our things & hit the road to Laredo, an unexpected reunion with high school friends…& eventually flying off to Guadalajara at the end of November.

Some of our friends are amazed, shocked, intrigued, excited, even jealous.  This is the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my adult life & my eye is on the prize.  A remake of my current self?  A simple life in Mexico.  ‘Tis a gift to be simple…

Will there come a time when I can SIMPLY run 1 errand & not feel like I have to pack 4 others in as well-since they’re right on my way?  Or simply sit reading for hours?  Have 1 or 2 books on my nightstand waiting to be read instead of 10 pushing me to “get on with it”?  (Surely you can tell by now that I am, I admit it, a bit OCD.  Coming from a preacher’s family where your home was constantly on display.  And being a good person meant being CONSTANTLY productive.)

We’ve complicated our lives so much in this country.  Years ago when I went to pick out a mattress there was one store to go to (in Boone) & they had maybe 10-12 mattresses.  The last time we shopped for a mattress 2 or 3 years ago in the Triangle there were probably 10 stores with 10 or more mattresses each to choose from.  We finally ordered online & we won’t even discuss the choices there.  Close your eyes & point.  It is out of hand.  We can get anything & everything in America.  Amazon will have it to you in a heartbeat.  We don’t have to wait.  We don’t have to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced.  And I am overwhelmed & exhausted by it.

This move is the chance to clean house, to clear out, to SIMPLIFY.  Of our 5 clothes closets that were once full only 2 still have clothes in them.  I have hauled load after load to thrift & consignment stores.  Our numerous bookshelves have large empty spaces now.  The sunroom & garage are full of estate sale items.  Photo albums & a few special objects are stored away.  The party is over & the next big hurdle-the estate sale-will leave us with a mattress, a table & 2 chairs & our kitchen wares (until the movers take those away November 5th).  We are peeling away layer by layer toward SIMPLICITY.  To the opportunity to have less, do less; making more careful, sustainable choices.  We have friends in Ajijic who have walked away from ALL their “stuff” & say now they could easily do it again.  I want to leave a smaller footprint on this earth, have only what I need or treasure, buy my food & wares at small family businesses.  Know that I’ve helped sustain & improve their simple lives.  I want to make a difference in this world.

‘When true simplicity is gained…to turn, turn will be our delight.”

 

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day

Anticipation
Anticipation
Is making me wait
                                        Is keeping me waiting.  (Carly Simon 1971)

Anticipation is in the air.  For those of you not in North Carolina know that we are feeling the change in the air, seeing the change in color & light, hearing the bustle at stores & gas stations.  What will happen?  And when?  A recent Facebook comment said “Waiting for a hurricane is like being chased by a turtle”.  Agreed.  Meanwhile my mood & energy level changes with the barometric pressure.  http://nhc.noaa.gov

Anticipation hovers in our house as well.  Last week I took on the tasks of contacting the international moving company after talking to the Mexican consulate in Raleigh. We now have an appointment this coming Wednesday to meet with a “surveyor”, someone from the local moving company who’ll come in & go room to room with us to calculate how much we want to move, how many “lift vans” it will take (Ajijic mover uses this # to calculate charges) & what it might weigh (local mover uses this #).  We’re already at a ballpark figure of several thousand dollars so we have begun to rethink how to do this.

Options: 1) Sell EVERYTHING & fly to Guadalajara.  I know I can’t do this.  Buy a car in Ajijic.  2) Put some things in storage. We’ve talked to a lot of folks who’ve done this then came back & gave it all away.  Pack as many suitcases as possible & fly into Guadalajara.  Load those suitcases up again when we come back to meet our granddaughter.  Buy a car in Ajijic.  3) Keep only what will fit in Ben’s Toyota Sienna van & get rid of the rest.  Drive to Laredo, Texas & hire a concierge to help us go through customs.  4) Drive a small Uhaul van to Laredo & offload to a moving company.  Hire a concierge to help us through customs & drive us to Ajijic.  WHEW!  Everyone of these sounds overwhelming.  By next Wednesday we will have a good handle on exactly what we WANT to take to Mexico.  By the end of the week we’ll have a close estimate of cost.  By the 24th we will have to make a decision about which way to go.

Meanwhile, I struggle through the multiple layers of my office full of aromatherapy oils, books, supplies, files, trying to figure out what I can possibly leave behind.  I’ve gotten rid of so much already.  Like peeling back the layers of an onion.  I wrote a poem years ago that started like this-ENOUGH. MORE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.  Too bad I didn’t take my own advice.

We walked this morning in the early light.  Passing by schools that are closed, crossing streets that are relatively quiet, businesses with chairs pulled in & lights off.  There is very little color in the streets here now.  The green will fade away soon.  The blossoms will drop.  Moving into winter has always been hard for me.  That is why I need the color in the streets of Mexico!  Anticipating………..

Sleep is elusive these days.  My mind races at any opportunity.  The decision is made & now the real work begins.  Coffee ready?

Actually, it began as soon as we arrived home.  Lists & looking through closets & drawers with a better sense now-after a month in Ajijic-of what matters, what will & won’t work there, what’s practical & what’s a sentimental “necessity”.  Or not.

I took a walk this morning & was reminded of the beauty of this place-before the heat sets in.  Aren’t we lucky, we remind ourselves, to live in this lovely town?  And in the next moment we remember that the place we are going to is also quite lovely, in very different ways.  We are reminded that with change comes growth.

We spent the weekend recovering from our long & harried trip, creating lists, discussing feelings, dinner with friends.  Groceries, banking, medication refills.  Day to day stuff.  Today was different.  Ben worked hard in the studio, lots of orders, sometimes overwrought with sentiment forged from 30 years of successful self-employment.  Winding down, selling off, telling people good-bye…& thank you.  Somedays it just all seems like too much.

The Mexican Consulate was first on my list after my walk this morning.  Much learned. Still questions to ask but now a little more familiar with what’s required for temporary (temporale) & permanent (permanente) visas. Passports, proof of income, application, AND a “menaje de casa”-inventory-in Spanish & English-of everything we plan to take with us.  And I can tell you that THAT makes you want to take less.  Boxes have to be numbered & categorized.  So the 2nd thing on my list was an email to the moving company we talked to before we left-Strom White Movers.  The next contact with them will be to get an estimate on a door to door move (resulting in much less handling thus damage) of our household items.  Meanwhile I called the police department to thank them for monitoring our house while we were away, confirmed my Healing Touch clients for tomorrow, made a haircut appointment & talked with the HVAC man who quickly discovered why our air conditioning wasn’t working.  Typical day to day stuff tucked in around the “muck” of this huge decision.

The other thing on my mind…is my granddaughter to be-Hazel Grace Ferguson. Expected arrival late January.  I’ve already bought books for her in Spanish & English.  Making plans to return to the States late February or March to meet her.  Reminded by her parents that vaccinations must be up to date to protect her.  Whatever it takes.  And, yes, it’s a bit harder to leave knowing she’s on the way.  But I want her to be proud someday that she has a Grandmother (Abuela) (& Grandfather (Abuelo)) who lived her life curiously & courageously.  Who wanted to know & experience other cultures, other places, other ways of doing things.  Who put her mind to learning a new language at 67 years old & who knew that parting with so much stuff would ultimately (beyond the grief!) bring a sense of freedom. I can’t wait to meet her!

This weekend we’ll review our notebook of what to do when that’s broken down into months then weeks before moving.  Plowing through.  Next week will bring calls to a carpenter & a tile man, a yard crew & a handyman.  The portable closet for winter clothes to be left in storage will arrive along with the Mexican cookbook recommended by a new friend.  Haircuts & massages & doctor visits.  Trips to the thrift store & the consignment store.  Purging.  More every day. Learning.  Growing.  Confirming that change can be manageable.

 

 

 

 

Almost time to leave this place-for now. 

The knot in my stomach has many causes.  It seems we’ve hardly been here.  It seems we’ve been here forever.  There is much to do when we return home.  Can we manage it all?  Leaving friends & the place we’ve lived & worked for so long hangs heavy in the air.  Have we done the right thing? What is it that draws us here?

We have made friends here already, people we’ll be glad to see again.  We have found a lovely, quiet place to live.  We have a sense of what to do once we arrive.  It’s the work to get here that daunts us.  1st-go through the (Hillsborough) house again to figure out what else we can do without.  At some point Storm-White Movers will send a contracted mover to the house to pack everything up to fit in 7x7x4′ crates-hopefully no more than 2.  Once the truck arrives in Ajijic our crates will be stored for up to a month until we’re ready for delivery.  That means packing suitcases with a minimum # of sheets, blankets, towels, toiletries & kitchen utensils to get us through until we can get out to a store.  (We’ve decided-at this point-not to drive a truck across country but will probably fly.) We will have no car initially so will rely on public transportation, Uber (weekdays) & taxis.

After Labor Day we’ll hit the Mexican Consulate in Raleigh for our visas, a complicated process that we’ve yet to clarify.  Late September is Ben’s birthday & retirement so we’ll celebrate with friends. Off to Charlotte for our “Global Entry” interviews to shorten the process of flight check in/out.  Then the mad rush to separate out everything we want to take with us in preparation for our October estate sale.  (Now there’s a bag of mixed feelings!).  We’ll “camp out” in the house for a few weeks after that while we tie up loose ends & say good-bye to friends & family.  Then off we go to Guadalajara & a taxi to La Casa Morado, Ajijic, Jalisco, Mexico.

Why? Because we are ready for dramatic change in our lives.  Because it is less expensive here.  Because of the temperate climate.  Because it is colorful & exotic & interesting.  Because it is a new culture with lots to learn.  To learn to do with less & to slow…down…A few months ago my son asked me how he was to explain to his children that their grandmother lives in Mexico.  I’ll borrow a phrase from a former coworker who thanked her mother for showing her how to “live curiously“.  That’s what I want-to push past my fears, to step outside my comfort zone, my box-& live with curiosity & courage.

(The adult in the picture above corralled these children when he saw me taking the first picture so they could be photographed too.  Afterward children & mothers gathered round to see the outcome with giggles & smiles.  It made my day!  Another reason to be here.).

TIME TO GO! I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED!

 

These are the people of Ajijic going about their daily work.  They are kind & gracious & generous.  They are hard working & diligent & tenacious. They love life & they love family & they love to please you with what they have to offer. There are middle class & wealthy Mexicans here. But it is the working folks who win my heart.

 

Our house is a very, very, very nice house…..the barn swallow babies are finally peeping out over the top of the nest on our apartment terrace & the parents are working hard to keep them fed.

Time marches on.  Our trip is closing in on its final days.  Perhaps the babies will fly away the same time we do.  This trip, more than any I’ve experienced, has been a lesson in letting go of expectations, following the bouncing ball wherever it leads.  The carefully laid out calendar met major changes-often cancellations-every day we experienced injury or illness.  When I finally began to feel better I started reworking the calendar to accomplish all the “prep work” we’d planned to do in this month.  Then Ben got sick.  Regroup again.

At 8:45am this past Wednesday I decided my first step was to look at all the Facebook groups here in Ajijic that post places for rent.  I came across a purple-yes, folks, this is Mexico after all!-house that was not to be available for several more weeks.  Ah ha!  Sent a Facebook message-no response.  That afternoon Ben did the same search & said, Come look at this purple house.  He’s already started a dialogue with the owner.  We called Rhonda right away & agreed to see the place @ 5 that day.  The rest, as they say, is history.

Bob & Rhonda Houck are delightful.  They’re from TX but have lived in many places, & like so many folks here, have had many interesting jobs & experiences.  After 3 years in the mountainside house they’ve decided to check the next item on their bucket list-living at the beach.  The landlord is Roberto Perez, a smart, hardworking Mexican who looks you square in the eye & speaks excellent English.  We struck the deal with a firm handshake & a promise to return the next day with cash in hand, ready to sign a lease to begin November 1st.  The Houcks have gone way beyond the call of duty to assist, inform & welcome us.  Everything fell into place & the hesitation we had after discussing it with a local friend (“That’s a lot of $ to give someone you don’t know!”) fell away as we got to know them better.  They invited us back on Friday to pick out what furniture we might like to buy from them, giving us reasonable prices with no pressure & plenty of time to decide.  Large houseplants included.

Next Tuesday we will seal the deal, hand over the last bit of money (including paying the current housekeeper Chayo to be there throughout November), & consider ourselves blessed.  Quite blessed.  As with so many things during this venture into Mexico, doors have opened, lights have shined & people have stepped up to show us the way.  We have friends here now & a lovely house to come home to, at least for a year.  La vida es buena!  Life is good!

Does ending up sick & injured in a foreign country mean you shouldn’t move there? It has surely given me pause for thought.

When we arrived in Ajijic this time we were exhausted from the intensity of prior weeks, trying to wind things down, get things ready, plan ahead, grieve, learn, be excited…Soon after we began to feel ourselves unwind a little, Ben became the target of cyberbullying from an old high school classmate.  It was extremely upsetting & frightening.  It interrupted our vacation for a good 3 days.  Right after that I fell-you already know that story.  Off to the Clinic, limited mobility, pain, poor sleep, ACE wrap, walking stick, etc.  And rest, lots of rest.  Lots.  While everyone else is out wandering, engaging, enjoying.  Arghhh!  Then, just when you think the “bad luck” might break, Ben ends up in the Clinic with early bronchitis.  Antibiotics, expectorants, pain pills.  Jeez!  And I forgot to mention that company had arrived the day before for a 4 day visit.  I hardly had any time with them because I followed right on Ben’s coat tails & ended up with “a stomach virus”.  Couldn’t eat or drink.  Slept a lot.  Weak.  Appointments cancelled. Tours missed.  Contacts too much trouble.  Everything is too much trouble.

Somehow it becomes all about self care.  And asking for help when you need it.  And finding that no matter where you are, there are people to help you.  Ben goes for soup.  I take him to the Clinic.  New friends offer to pick things up for you.  Take you somewhere.  Even the waiter at the coffee shop that you finally made it to sees that you’re having trouble walking & suddenly appears to help you up the steps.  (A gringo gave me a local idiom the other day:  You can WALK-TALK-GAWK but you cannot GAWK-TALK-WALK.   Priorities straight.)
A new friend tells you about a massage therapist that does “amazing work” & offers her appointment slot.  You go & find that her work, mapping your body with her fingers/eyes closed, & her observations before you say much, truly is amazing.  The knees start to heal.  You’re back to wondering if there’s a quieter place to live.  The village is noisy.  And this is low season.

So you read a lot.  THE HUMMINGBIRD’S DAUGHTER (for a sense of old Mexico & the value placed on the spiritual) & THE DEVIL’S HIGHWAY (for a disturbing, engrossing, enlightening read on immigration issues).  I find myself wanting to read all I can about Mexico.  I am fascinated.  Rejuvenated.

A list grows in your mind.  A list of things you must do to take care of yourself.  Not a whole lot different than anywhere else.

• Wear supportive shoes (hard to be fashionable sometimes) & watch where you’re walking.  STOP to gawk.  STOP to take your phone out of your bag.
• Wear a wide brimmed hat & use sunscreen.  Slightly closer to the equator.  Get your skin checked regularly.
• Take your time & realize that the air is thinner at 5100′.  They say it may takes months to adapt.
• Don’t drink the tap water!  Even the locals know that.
• Wash your hands a lot.  Avoid street food until your gut acclimates.  If it does.  Disinfect your produce.  It’s quick & easy.
• SLOW DOWN.  Maybe coming here was all about that.  Instead of our expectations of continuing to plot our adventure.

SLOW DOWN……………………& don’t forget to breathe!  Adios mis amigos!

Up, dressed, ACE wrapped, walking stick-I’m ready to go! Enough of being inside with so much left to explore.

Careful to measure every step, Ben readily offers his hand when I need it.  I make pretty good time, stopping only for an occasional photo op or to greet shopkeepers along the way: Dona Maria, our petite 90-something neighborhood street sweeper, the cinnamon colored older woman counting freshly made yellow corn tortillas (most here are marina-these are maiz amarillo-yellow corn), Antonio Jose who steps out of his carpentry shop to ask our names & wish us well, the group of moms (madres) y ninas giggling their way along the street who readily return my greeting.  Turning into the open gate of The Lake Chapala Society, a world of gardens & gringos opens up.  This complex was donated by Neill James, a female “explorer” who rolled 1000′ down the volcano known as Popo & settled in Ajijic to recover in the 1940’s. (Check out chapala.com or my Facebook timeline for more info.) LCS helps gringos find their way in the village.  Bulletin boards are packed with info about housing, classes, tours & ways to help the locals.  Ben’s new friend Pat tells us the central plaza in town delineates the 4 main barrios (neighborhoods) by the half sun mosaic @ each corner.  The central sun surrounds the gazebo.  Weezie, our neighbor & friend we house sat for in March, arrives on her way to her weekly Spanish class & entices me to go along.  90 minutes. Free. Conversational.  No pressure.  I am thrilled to realize how much I already know.  Same time next week!  A big step for me as the idea of “performing” in front of a class always intimidates me.

We say good-bye to Weezie, noting that we’ll see her there tomorrow for Open Circle, a weekly talk about anything from retirement to spiritual issues, & move on to one of my favorite restaurants-Chili Verde.  Chili rellenos, sopa de pollo con arroz y frijoles y fresh tortillas.  Yum!  Mango aqua de fresca y limonada.  A waiter turns Mexican music on & suddenly the lineup of cooks behind the counter are giggling & dancing as they work.  I smile & join in, doing a little jig in my chair.  When a steaming bowl of something not on the menu passes by, we find out it’s posole & lament missing it.  A few minutes later a cook places a bowl of the labor intensive soup & it’s fixing on our table & offers it “on the house”.  Yum! Y muchos gracias!  When you leave this small family owned restaurant that fills with gringos & locals alike, each cook & wait person speaks out to you-Adios! Gracias!  It feels like home.

On now to the “dollar store”-yes, they have their version, too.  A gringo shopkeeper greets us with words like-“Been here 17 years. Happiest I’ve ever been. Remember that every day is an adventure.”  In a small farmacia nearby I pick up a 10 pack of 600mg ibuprofeno for $1.35 & we head to Total Body Spa to schedule massage appointments ($35/hr).  My pedicure will be done while I’m on the table-interesting.  Moving on we pass an open door with a large basket of gorgeous avocados on display on the sidewalk.  I pick up 2 & cautiously enter the narrow hallway calling “Hola?” when a woman steps out from her kitchen to ask for 20 pesos (about $1). (It is not unusual for locals to set out foods or meals for sale on the sidewalk but that’s another story.).

We make our way now to the carretera, the main road that divides north (mountain side) from south (lake side).  New sidewalks, bike lanes (mostly for transportation not sport) & fresh paint-the village is thriving from gringo income.  We stop by a newly open restaurant-Purple Garlic Pizza Brothers-having heard they’re doing GF crust (could it be??) The young Mexican man & his American wife are friendly & chatty.  Soon as they get the rice cauliflower crust figured out…..Ben stops for a roasted chicken & veggies for dinner.  Though chicken here has an amazing flavor, lunch was overload. Kombucha, thank you.  (Locally made with returnable bottles.).  Across the carretera, norte, I stop to take a pic of another favorite restaurant, Machi Ma.  It is a serene & welcoming vegetarian place, super clean & friendly.  A sign in front tags the philosophy their locally sourced food embodies.

It is a climb to our apartment now.  Tired.  My knees ache.  But I am happy.  I am becoming part of this village.  The welcoming smiles.  Kindness graciously rendered.  The joy of life displayed daily.  Oh, it has its problems, like every place.  But my heart & soul know, for awhile at least, it is home.

 

 

My efforts to learn Spanish led me to the ABC’s…

A=Ajijic, of course. Why? We were ready for a change. Mexico is close. Numerous recommendations. 5000′ elevation. Lake (Chapala) surrounded by mountains (Sierra Madres) with temperate weather. Rainy seasons bring brief showers that clear the air leaving everything fresh & green. Village people mingle with gringos. Lower cost of living in general-though gringo arrivals are driving rental/sale prices up quickly. “The place where the water springs forth.”

B=Barrio/neighborhood.  Bodega/storefront

C=Cobblestone streets & uneven sidewalks=rough walking. But it is an excellent use of local stones & allows a lot of the rain water to soak into the street rather than flooding it. Holes are eventually repaired with the little piles of stones (or crushed brick) you often see by the walkways.

D=Donas Donuts. Favorite local hangout/meeting place for local hikers & weekenders from Guadalajara.

E=Electricity is expensive. HVAC systems are rare. Fans, small heaters & AC window units are used only when necesito-like in May, the hottest month.

F=Fruta (fruit) of nearly every kind is plentiful. Berries are grown in huge greenhouses across the lake in Jocotepec for Dole, Driscoll, etc. The “dregs”-which are gorgeous-are sold here on the streets & in the markets. $7 will get you 3 quarts.

G=Guadalajara International Aeropuerto is about 40 min. away. Known for world class cultural events & skirted by Tlaquepaque & Tonala art/craft communities, Guadalajara is Mexico’s 2nd largest city @ around 4.5 million.

H=There are a few small hospitals in the Lake area & more being built. Gringos sometimes have smaller procedures done here & go to the states (if on Medicare) for things like hip/knee replacements. I’m told hospital care here is excellent. There are assisted living & nursing home facilities also.  Most have good reputations in terms of care & cost. Mexican people in general are strongly family oriented & faithful caregivers. No hospice per se. Hospice care takes place at home. Humidity averages 20% lower than in Hillsborough. Housekeeper=$2.50/hr + benefits.

I-Infinito posibilidades of discovery in this new culture! J=Ajijic & Guadalajara are in the state of Jalisco (J is pronounced H).

K=My knees are better but still healing. Went out twice yesterday & feel worn out today (8-10-18)

L=Lake Chapala is the largest inland body of water in Mexico. It is 7.8-13 miles across by 50 miles long  & 15-34′ deep. It provides water for the surrounding area including Guadalajara.

M=Markets or tianguis. The largest one in the area is in Chapala on Mondays. Small organic market on Tuesdays. Large gringo-targeted market on Wednesdays. (This one prompted me to learn numbers 1-1000 before this trip. Too embarrassing to have the vendor call out the # & not have a clue what it means. Uno-mil…) There is also a small market in the central plaza on Fridays. Big bag of fresh veggies might cost you $3! Who needs a grocery store???

N=Check the corner near the Farmacia Guadalajara for a fresh squeezed vaso (glass) de jugo de naranja (OJ). Noise! Count on it. Dogs barking, people talking, radios, horns blowing, vehicles banging over cobblestones, children squealing with laughter…but the craziest thing is trucks that drive the streets with loud speakers making recorded announcements. Gas, politics, repairs, etc. Wait for it…

O=Jose Clemente Orozco. Importante Mexican political muralist with prominent work in Guadalajara.

P=Parajos. Birds! So many colors & songs. A pair of swallows have a nest inside our terrace. If I talk softly to Mama Parajo when I step outside, she looks at me & settles back down. She is so attentive. Hope to see babies soon!

Q=Queso-Cheese! In many different forms.  Fresh at the markets. Everything is not slathered with melted cheese here. THAT is the US version of Mexican.

R=Restaurantes. There are many. From Chinese to Mediterranean to Thai to Italian to Spanish to vegetarian to, of course, Mexican (in all shapes & forms), to burgers & fries. Our 2 favorites so far are indeed Mexican-Teocintle (ancient grains) & Chili Verde. Pricey & not so pricey. Ask for the bill (La cuenta, por favor). Mexicans want you to sit & savor.

S=Safety. The #1 thing folks ask us when we say we’re moving to Mexico is-Is it safe??? Yes. There are places you don’t go in Mexico just like in the US. There is petty crime & there are gringos who flaunt their wealth & invite trouble. I guess the big difference is I’m told that you cannot trust the police. While the police in Hillsborough will, on request, patrol your street & even get out & walk around if you’re away, the police here, well, just don’t announce your departure. If they stop you to issue a traffic ticket, say “Thank you. I know where to pay it.” & drive on. Not my favorite part of being here. Street food is super cheap but you also have to be super careful. Some say only go to the ones where people gather. Some say only go if you see the person handling the food wear gloves to handle the money. Some say-Forget about it!

T=Transportacion. You can get around quite well here without a car if you’re willing to walk on cobblestone streets. Lots of gringos decide to live in El Centro (center of the village) to be able to do just that. Leave a small footprint. There are, however, lots of cars here, even though gas is quite expensive. ($4/G?) We’ve used private drivers to take us to the airport & to little outlying villages like Mazamitla & Tapalpa. There are also public buses (autobuses publico) that run frequently from one end of the Lake to the other. 9 pesos or about 45 cents. And no, they are not the rickety “chicken buses” full of people & animales that we associate with Mexico & Latin America.

U=Universidad de Guadalajara has a state of the art medical school. Many of the doctors in the Lake area trained there.

W=Water. Do NOT drink from the tap in Mexico unless you know for sure there is a good water purification system. Why? Because the pipes are often old & contaminated.  5 gallon jugs of water can be delivered for cooking & drinking. It’s OK to brush your teeth with tap water. Just don’t swallow it.

X=xero means dry? Y=Yema (de huevo) is egg yolk. 2 letters that aren’t used much.

Z=Zanahorias-carrots! Some of the best you’ve ever tasted. Beautiful & plentiful.  Zapatos. Shoes. Wear good ones! Walking on cobblestones & uneven sidewalks is not easy & you need good support. San Miguel is sometimes called “the city of fallen ladies” because of women who insist on style (I’m sometimes guilty:() & end up with broken feet or ankles. I would say “ditto” for Ajijic.

 

 

Those of you who know me know that my license plate says “LETTINGO”. It has been that way for years. Little did I know.

Visiting Mexico in January 2017 was an eye opener for a lifelong romantic. The idea of living in an exotic foreign country excited me to no end.  San Miguel de Allende (our first destination) is MAGICO! It is a Spanish colonial city and a World UNESCO Heritage site buzzing with life. But in reality, we knew it was becoming too expensive, too densely populated and has hot summers/cold winters.

Let it go.  Find another place.  Europe?  Too far.  Too expensive.  So we made contacts that led us to this village of Ajijic.  Perfect.  Lots of expats.  Lake Chapala Society to guide us.  Don’t have to speak Spanish but plenty of opportunities to learn.  Perfect climate-temperate, mild winters and summers.  (Except for the month of May which they say is quite hot and many people who can, leave.) Paradise found.

With each consecutive visit, we find more and more expats moving here. Rentals are harder to find unless you book 6 months out-which we realized too late!  Properties are available – but you better have at least $350,000 to spend for a 2 B/B with no extras.  Want a view?  You’ll pay big time.  Let it go.  Can you dream it and then manifest it? Who knows.  Can you find a balance between fantasy and reality? Who knows.  That being said, we both stand amazed at how many doors have opened for us up to this point. How many interesting, kind, and accepting people we’ve met.

A couple of months ago Ben decided we couldn’t wait until September to find a place for December as a couple of realtors had recommended.  He spent hours on Airbnb until he found what seemed a small, acceptable condo in a town we’d been to west of Ajijic.  With public transportation (9 pesos – about 50 cents per trip) it should be doable.  He booked it for 2 months then added 3 weeks (already taken after that) and we felt like we had a good starting point.  We could spend that time exploring the little village of San Juan Cosala AND find a long-term rental for later.

The owner of the condo who lives in Guadalajara – an hour away – agreed to pick us up and take us to see the place.  Very sweet young woman who speaks 4 languages, studied in Italy, works for a Mexican publisher and wants to become a diplomat.  The conversation was lively – she encouraged my Spanish but speaks excellent English.

We soon realized that she was driving past the town of San Jan Cosala, into a small, obviously poor area then into a small, manicured gated community.  (I’ve sworn all along I’d never live in a gated community.  Let it go.) We soon met her sister and her incredibly delightful parents.  Her father was so proud of his family and shared stories of their lives and whereabouts as they walked us through the condo and around the grounds.

But the space was shockingly small and the drive much farther than expected.  We found ourselves offended that the address had been misrepresented.  We came back to our apartment in Ajijic (the one we wish we’d reserved for longer) and frantically looked for another place.  NOTHING.  NADA.  Let it go.

Gradually we have both worked through how it would be to live there for 2 1/2 months.  Where would we put stuff we think we need/use daily?  How would we get around?  Where would we shop? All those preconceived notions went flying out the door.  Let it go.  We wanted to downsize, leave a smaller footprint.  Be careful what you ask for.

Many folks who’ve done this tell us we will have a wide range of emotions, feel crazy, depressed, overwhelmed, stuck.  Seems like we’ve hit a wall right now – what if we do NOT find a place in February? What if our dream hits a dead end?

A dear friend wrote this morning: “Life is good.  It all works out.  It always does.  Nothing is forever..The Universe has a way of providing.  Enjoy.  Transitions are always hard…Life is bigger beyond the walls of where you are living.”  Thank you Norma.

We asked for this.  So let it go.  Let it be what it will be.  If nothing else it is an amazing adventure.

PS: Walking down the street this morning, digging in my bag for my phone, I tripped over a broken sidewalk and was down before I knew it.  Feeling yourself falling and being unable to stop is absolutely terrifying. After a few minutes I was able to move and asked a passer-by to help us.  A nearby Mexican man came within minutes and immediately took us in his car to the clinic 3 blocks away.  A very kind English-speaking Dr. Rodriquez did everything – including an x-ray (negative) – but check me in and out.   I was sent home with antibiotics and the recommendation for 2 days of rest.  The whole experience in the clinic took less than 40 minutes.  The cost for that visit was $1000 pesos-$50!  Thanks to him and to my dear Ben who has been amazing.  Much love. Watch where you’re walking friends. Toes up, heels down, nose pointed toward the ground! My new motto.