Category: Blogging

That’s what Thomas Wolfe said. I didn’t believe him when I moved back to my home town of Asheville, North Carolina, in 1997 to take a job and fell in love with the place all over again. This time we’re talking Ajijic, Mexico. My town of 3 months. We leave in a few days for Charlotte, hoping for one more glimpse of baby Hazie & her parents. Early Saturday we’ll head back to Mexico. Will it feel like home?

This trip has been strange from the start. Trying to coordinate with new parents and old friends and business associates. Making calls. Calculating expenses. It’s all been tough. The gears are not in sync. The planets are out of alignment. Exhausting, expensive, cold/wet. One car. One key. Two schedules. Ben’s been sick but pushing forward. It worries me. Thank you to the friends who have gone out of their way to help us manage this. And those who offered but we had to decline to (try to) keep things simple.

Somehow in the midst of it all I’ve found clarity about what direction to take when we get home. I know I need dedicated time to seek out blogging topics and to write. Dedicated time to study and practice Spanish. I need more sun than gloom. Maybe it’s just the newness of it all (is that so bad?) that makes me feel alive and motivated. After all the moving as a child and young adult, maybe I’m just acclimated to changing scenery periodically. I knew as soon as we came back this time that it is not where I want or need to be. Always a dreamer. A romantic. “I live in Mexico.” “You do? That’s so cool!” Can’t help it. There’s a bigger world out there. Sometimes your box just feels too small. Am I trying to be something I’m not? Or am I trying to be the best I can be? Time will tell.

POST SCRIPT: A few days ago I felt myself a victim until I found a poster hanging on a restaurant wall. What timing. It grounded me for what happened next. I spent Tuesday morning at my doctor’s office, visiting with former coworkers and having my annual exam. A friend picked me up for lunch and took me shopping for a few things not available in Ajijic. Seconds after she said – Haven’t we had a nice relaxing afternoon? – a white construction truck came from out of nowhere racing to get in front of us, maneuvering through the tight space between us and the nearby lane of rush hour traffic. In a split second he smashed into our car as he roared by, nearly forcing us off the road into the nearby trees. Mary controlled the car like a champ and moved forward trying to catch up with him. No way. He was GONE. A retired lawyer, Mary maintained calm and made all the necessary calls after pulling off into a parking lot. Uber to the rescue after Officer Cox left. Riding home with Ben every passing car sent a jolt through my system and the smell of burning rubber lodged in my nose. Lavender oil, arnica pellets and Tylenol helped me through the night. Today I’m sore and tired (Mary’s doing well.) and baffled by someone’s willingness to “hit & run”. Having trouble staying grounded. But at the same time feeling grateful and blessed that it was so minor. No one stopped. No one pulled over to check on us. I don’t understand. This would not happen in Mexico. It’s strange to be hurt or sick in a country other than your home. You want your bed, familiar surroundings. We’re 3 days from flying back to Mexico. I’m ready to go home.

Conexiones. A circle of friends. A group of persons who are connected. Before. During. After. The Move. It all started over two years ago when we looked into going to Portugal. Nope. Too expensive. Ben knew Danny Cameron from Chapel Hill had moved to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Connection #1. We visited “SMA” in January 2017. We were smitten. Mexico. Dust on my heart. Go figure.

Back home a switch flipped. Time to retire. Time to move. Mexico. Climate. Lower cost of living. Culturally rich. The people. Time to look at textiles of Mexico. Find a tour guide. There it was. Oaxaca Cultural Navigator – oaxacaculture.com – Norma Schafer. With a home in Durham as well as Oaxaca. Connection #2. Norma invites us to dine with friends who spend several weeks in Ajijic each year. Debbie & Steve. Connection #3. It goes on and on. That’s life, right?

Two weeks ago Norma came to visit us in Ajijic for a few days. It was fun showing her our town & the textile venues there. Nothing as rich in design & craftmanship as she is used to but it provides, in my mind, a connection between us. We wandered the village, went to the thermal springs, shopped the markets, cooked, ate, laughed, met up with old and new friends…Debbie & Steve. Mariann. Lovely. So lovely to have this woman I greatly admire & respect in my home, my village. Thank you, Norma. See you in November.

After Norma left there was an annual Chili Cook Off in Tobolandia (no idea), the local water park. I’d heard there’d be craftspeople from Oaxaca there so I decided to go meet them. Norma would probably know them. Found them in a back corner. Two lovely young women – Sara & Nadi – selling handwoven bedspreads and tablecloths as well as hand/machine made aprons. (OaxacaBedspreads.com) I showed them Norma’s picture after a brief introduction. They smiled. They recognized her. I bought an apron (mandil). It made my day. Connections.

Off to North Carolina. Time to meet our granddaughter Hazie in Charlotte. So excited even though our time will be limited due to the newness and stress of their situation, which became clear on our arrival. But first, let’s make connections. This time I’m talking flight connections – the meeting of planes or trains for the transfer of passengers. Atlanta. 2 hour layover. I look up and there is Helen, daughter of my good friend Shelton in Boone. I haven’t seen her in years! She’s connecting from LA where she works and lives with her boyfriend Joshua, a flight attendant for Delta. Love seeing this beautiful young woman I’ve known since birth. Still has that lovely smile and soothing voice. We take the same flight and end up in baggage claim at Charlotte-Douglas airport (aeropuerto) where her mom, my friend Shelton, is waiting. Hugs. Smiles. Connections to my past.

Five minutes after arriving at my son’s house he places little Hazie in my arms. I can’t describe how I felt. I’ve never felt it before. She has so many people who love her already. She is and will be surrounded with family and friends all her life, I’m sure. But to me she is the one and only. Blood of my blood. I hope that someday it will be OK that I live in Mexico. I’d love to help her learn Spanish. Tell her why Mexico is important to her Abuela. Only time will tell. Her parents are smart and strong and dedicated. And smitten. She will have a good life.

Norma has loaned us her condo in Durham. It is a beautiful place in the Warehouse District. Walking distance to town. We’ve spent a little time with our friends Onja and Bill who visited us in December. We’ve gone to a couple of restaurants – my favorite being the old, funky COSMIC CANTINA. Never knew about it when I lived here. Crazy. We’ve checked on Ben’s property & taken care of business. We’ve visited friends. We thought we’d have time to twiddle our thumbs. But we don’t. Next Friday will be here before we know it and we’ll be headed back to Mexico. It’ll be tough leaving Hazie & her parents behind. They aren’t happy that we’re so far away. How do you explain that you also have your own life to live after being tied to a career for over 30 years. The timing stinks. I love them anyway. I hope they’ll understand some day. We are, after all, connected.

That was the name I gave to my dream business when I lived in Boone, NC, many years ago. It was a counteraction to the pat one swoop method of interior designers. Buy something you love, use it, move it to the place that feels right. Add the next piece or two…in other words, let your surroundings evolve as you live in them, as you see how you function in your space. I thought it was brilliant! It was how my own place evolved. It is how this place in Ajijic, Mexico, is evolving. In a way it is how my life, my spirit and emotions, are evolving…slowly, by design.

I am amazed every day by what we’ve done, by how in the past several months our lives have changed, evolved, morphed into something so totally different. By design. Virtually nothing is the same, except our kitchen stuff. (They were right to say bring it. Quality here is poor.) Even our clothes change as we realize what works here and what doesn’t-keeping travel to other climates in mind. We bought a car, another Honda, but driving here is VASTLY different. I found myself finally exhaling with relief yesterday when we went to an Auto Zone (!) for a windshield screen. The store looked nearly identical to the ones back in NC (except for the signs in Spanish). Finally something familiar!

We slowly add an item here or there as we realize what we need, what might work. There’s no doing anything fast here-it took weeks to find a set of shelves for Ben’s office and after hitting 6-8 stores we still have no stand for the (giant) TV waiting in the box behind my chair. Now and then a delight like the special Oaxacan rug in a consignment store, or the wonderful handmade/painted jewelry rack Ben found at a recent studio tour, shows up. The den looks better with the rug in it. The corner reserved for my scarves and necklaces has come together-a vignette pleasing to my eye-and functional as well. But the “dream” of creating a Mexican style decor fades to the background, no longer important considering the effort and money it takes to make it happen. That realization in itself is an evolution.

In the midst of it all my mind and spirit evolve as well I hope. A visit to a nearby estate sale last week sent me into tears and depression. Why??? It took a day or two and the support of distant sisters/friends to see the tie to a childhood lived with mother and brother who always felt cheated, always felt they should’ve had more, been more. Looking at my own brand of discontent I detect that in this case it is the need for more useable outdoor space here at home that beckons. Something comfortable to lounge in-an evolution of space. Part of it-that discontent-will take a lot longer to figure out.

Ben and I laugh (on a good day) at the realization that on some level we thought our troubles would drop away at the border. There are old stresses and there are new ones as we “evolve” in our new surroundings. I suspect we are here for reasons we never dreamed of. Letting go of material and emotional “stuff” continues to drive us toward being the people we are meant to be. Finding our place here, finding our new selves here, will take time. There are so many possibilities-classes, groups, activities, volunteer work. I recently asked the assistant at the Lake Chapala Society (the organization that offers invaluable support to the gringo community here) what volunteers they might need. I’m a nurse. I could take blood pressures. Or, she replied, you could do something you haven’t already done all your life! Now there’s a concept! Perhaps we could even choose just to BE.

LEARNING curves, that is. The past several weeks have been full of learning curves. All the logistics of putting a household together (or taking one apart!) barely apply here in Ajijic. Everything is slower (I’m told mañana actually means, when I get to it) & more complicated here. Which is a good thing for someone like me who wants to spend less time/money buying stuff. (Read my earlier blogs to see my feelings about that.) But tougher when it comes to things like buying a car (& being an impatient gringo).

Our first effort at buying a Honda CRV, Ben’s choice after much research, was thwarted by a gut feeling that the car we looked at/drove just wasn’t quite right. Most likely it had been in the heavy rains in Puerta Vallerta & was brought here to be “dumped”. Getting our downpayment back from the guy who’d been recommended to us created some bad feelings so we decided to look elsewhere. But before we did we followed that person’s advice to set up a Mexican bank account & get an “RCF” number (akin to a US social security number). The bank account set up took weeks as we consulted with the local banker & followed the steps she laid out for us. Each step required another visit to her office. Move money from a US account to the Mexican account & wait for it to clear. Return to her office to apply for checks & a debit card. Return to her office to pick them up….

Meanwhile, we found another local person recommended for his honest car deals. We liked the white CRV on his lot & talked to him at length before putting down a small amount of money to hold it. (There was actually someone in the driveway who planned to buy the car right then if we decided not to.) Turns out Rafael flies to Merida where his family lives then drives the CRV or RAV 4 for many hours to Ajijic to sell it. They don’t sit on his lot long. Short of this, or the one “gringo” car lot in town, folks go to Guadalajara to buy a car. Not ready for that yet. Fingers crossed.

So next you write a MEXICAN check to the dealer & go to the bank…oh, wait. First you have to call the bank 2 days ahead of time & tell them how much cash you need (& why) so they can GET IT from ??? Then you go to the bank, write the check to the dealer, he takes it to the teller who then verifies the transaction & gives THEM the cash. (OK by me). THEN you can take the car. You go buy insurance. You take it back to the dealer so he can take it to Chapala for local tags. Then he takes it to Tonala to check the VIN numbers, etc. Then you go pick it up again the next day & pay them more money for the tags. Then, & only then, you wait in line for gas because the Mexican Presidente known as AMLO has slowed distribution to a trickle to try to prevent theft/crime by… We have our car now but the next step is to go for an emissions test in Chapala, though that may have to wait based on the last letter in our license plate & the corresponding month. What???

All that being said, I must tell you that for the most part I did not want a car. Especially a nice car. I believe that it sets me apart from the local people. That it makes me another gringo living in Paradise. It seems like gringos speak/wave to me now & Mexicanos do not. Now I have to worry about-or do I?-the nice car getting beaten up. Because with narrow cobblestone streets that’s what happens. We paid a lot of $ for that car. How does that first scratch/dent feel??? I miss the bus & taxi rides where I learn so much about the people & their language. The plus side is that we have already seen areas we would’ve had to pay a driver to take us to, if we’d even known about them. And we can gradually extend our exploration to nearby mountain towns & the coast. And my shoulders don’t ache from carrying heavy loads of groceries up our hill from the market. OK, I’ll adapt.

You can drive here on a US license. Nonetheless, we’ve signed up to get our Mexican licenses. (Can I drive in the US on that license? Don’t know yet.) The car dealer’s wife pointed out exactly what papers & tags to show to a policia if they stop us. She is Mexican & was followed by the Federales on the highway from Guadalajara, for no particular reason. Trafficos (traffic cops) rarely speak English & love it if they give you a ticket & you pay it on the spot because you don’t speak Spanish & you don’t know what else to do. There’s a sticker gringos have created here for your car that tells the cops you will take your ticket & go, thank you, because you don’t want to pay more than you have to. My joke about driving here is-There is no road rage in Mexico. But there is also no hesitation. I haven’t driven in over 2 months. Not sure when I’ll start. Pull far right to turn left if you’re in a line of traffic??? Whew! Learning curve.

I was telling a neighbor about my blog lately & he asked-Have you talked about the crappy parts of Mexico yet? Beto is a local who spent most of his adult life in Iowa and returned to Ajijic two years ago with his US wife. Go figure. So, let’s talk trash.

When we came here January 2018 my biggest impression was – this place is filthy. No thanks. At a meeting we went to last year a woman visiting from Illinois stood up and asked how everyone could put up with the trash and dog poop on the streets. The speaker told her that it was sooo much better than it used to be and it continues to improve. I thought she was gutsy to ask about the white elephant in the room. Ajijic gringos were insulted by her question.

Today there are a growing number of trash receptacles on the village streets and the carretera (the main street that connects the lake villages). There are people who volunteer in their neighborhoods to pick up trash. There are fewer feral dogs so less dog poop. Though there are no machines that sweep the streets, there are a few locals and shop keepers who do. After any of the numerous street festivals there are always piles of garbage bags stacked on corners, some neatly, some not so much. They disappear in a few days and life moves on. Trash is right out there – part of life.

In January a ban on the use of plastic bags in retail shops took effect. In some shops you can buy a bag for your purchase. But mostly you’re encouraged to bring your own. A smile and a “Bueno!” is the usual response from shopkeepers when you do. It is rare now to see a plastic bag floating down the street with the wind. Progress.

Recycling programs have begun for plastic and cardboard. Deep blue wire bins on short poles can be seen in the village now – not west where we live yet. But slightly west of us is a small cardboard recycling facility. Vendors of mushrooms, yogurt, berries, and eggs at the Tuesday market are happy to take and reuse their containers and the local kombucha producer will give you 5 pesos off your next order if you return your bottle.

One thing of note is that the local people seem to use and reuse items until they fall apart. It is not a “throw away” society in the same way as the US. That being said, I’m amazed at the number of plastic items sold in some of the stores like Walmart – yes, Walmart, the biggest local employer – and what we call the dollar store. There are even a couple of tiendas plasticos, stores selling only plastic items. And an annual festival that includes numerous vendors of everything plastic. Like anywhere, some items are useful, some fall apart in a week. By the way, Walmart provides their employees who don’t speak English (and few do) with tablets loaded with Google Translate to use with gringo customers. Smart.

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There is a lot of building going on here and little motivation to clean up along the way. Mexican home and land owners stockpile bricks (handmade) and tiles and anything else that has to do with building, stacked in yards and fields. Rectangular poles of rebar protrude from rooftops, waiting for owners to have enough money to build the next level. This is a cash economy. There are no building loans. Nothing is wasted.

There are other aspects to the “crappy side” of Mexico. Yes, there’s crime. And, no, the police aren’t always helpful. That’s the first thing most folks outside Mexico ask about. At this point I’d have to say that we are vigilant, but not frightened. We live in a mixed neighborhood, in a modest house, and we don’t flash money, jewelry, or electronics around. We don’t walk around with our noses in the air and we do our best to interact with and show a genuine interest in local residents. We recognize that we’re guests in this country and we are grateful for the ease of life it offers us.

Mexico is “quirky”, as Ben says. Building codes are nonexistent and workmanship is often mediocre, sometimes even shoddy. Internet is slow most days and doing anything about it takes persistence and fortitude. Things like no hot water from your kitchen faucet and having a tub that’s put in backwards get old, but they aren’t earth shattering. Weekend traffic is horrendous with Guadalajarans “invading” to escape the city. One way street directions are rarely marked. Some Mexican homes have no drainage systems so wash water is thrown into the dirt and cobblestone streets, creating widening potholes. Trucks meander through streets blasting ads for goods, alternating with Mexican music. Dogs bark intermittently but persistently day and night. Frequent festivals bring loud music, fireworks and bonfires in the streets at all hours of the day and night. Ear plugs are mandatory.

There is dust and mildew and smoke from fields being burned before the next planting. There are ants and mosquitos and, my favorite, cockroaches. And ways to deal with it all. We knew about these things ahead of time. But the lure of a slower pace, a lower cost of living, and the opportunity to learn a new language and culture outweighed everything. We’ve been here four months now. Perhaps our patience will grow thin (constructions starts on the place next door soon) or perhaps our patience and tolerance will grow as we learn even more about letting go and living with ease.

(Editor’s note: Hazel Grace Ferguson entered this world on January 23rd, born to Japhy & Toni Ferguson in Charlotte, North Carolina. She is named after her great grandmother. She is the author’s first & most beloved grandchild.)

This is my second letter to you, dear granddaughter (mi nieta). The first was written in October of last year & delivered to your parents at the family baby shower in your honor. I trust they will read it to you when you are of an age to understand. In it I explained that I would be in Mexico when you were born & that was indeed the case. I’ve struggled to decide what to write & have, in fact, rewritten this 3 times now. In my heart I know that all I want to do is talk to-& about-you!

Monday I took a Spanish class taught by Alfredo Perez, a wonderful teacher who taught us the importance of using facial expression & body language when we speak. Muy importante. Plus tips on what NOT to do or say lest you be considered quite rude. One thing he stressed was the importance of Mothers (madres) in Mexican culture. They are revered, as I hope your mother will be.

I remember years ago being so intrigued by a Dutch friend who lived in our town (Boone) & spoke to her toddler in English AND Dutch. As I moved through my nursing career opportunities to work with patients & employees from Mexico increased. I asked my boss once if we needed to learn Spanish & she replied that we’d probably never have another Mexican home health patient. Boy was she wrong! Living here, with so many gringos (“Greens-go-home” referred to the green uniforms of soldiers who came to hang out in Mexico after the war, according to legend.), it would be easy to just speak English. But in the end you would miss out on so many opportunities & interactions. I have already purchased books for you in English & Spanish. I hope that I can teach you, but I also hope your parents will see the importance of exposing you to a second language.

Tuesday, well Tuesday was all about you! Your mom was admitted to the hospital on Monday night. I didn’t sleep much & I must have checked my phone a million times. (I truly believe that having the internet & FaceTime makes living here much easier.) At 10:16AM I received a message from your dad that you had just arrived. I don’t think I realized how delighted I would be. Or how delighted your dad would be. Know that he is smitten!

The rest of the week is a blur. Errands, fun with friends, naps, cleaning…but always you in the back of my mind. Always my phone within reach to see the latest pictures of you. Therefore, I have decided to dedicate this blog to you & to the women & children of Mexico I’ve come to love. So here is a gallery of pictures. Some I’ve taken, some I’ve borrowed. Mothers & daughters are powerful figures in Mexico. Let’s talk about it someday. Enjoy!

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So, dear Hazie. There you have it. A sample of the mothers & children from my part of Mexico. Here’s to happy travels, acquaintances & friendships in your life as well. Buenos noches mi nieta pequena. Mucho amor! Abuela

(Click on any picture to start the slide show. Let me know if you have questions!)

We got our visas (“green cards”) this week, after a great deal of work & patience. Does that mean we’re home? “…There’s a big psychological difference between feeling at home and being home…Some people, as they move through their lives, rediscover home again and again. Some people never find another after once leaving home. And, of course, some people never leave the one home they’ve always known.” (https://www.smithsonianmag.com/)

As a Methodist preacher’s daughter I moved every 3-4 years for the first 18 years of my life. When I married & lived in Boone, North Carolina, different circumstances led to 9 moves in the first 2 years of marriage. And at least 6 or 8 more in the next 30 years. I am not a stranger to change. Finding home is in my blood. For Ben it’s been tougher. He lived his whole childhood on a hillside in Virginia then moved out of state to Chicago, to Richmond, VA, & eventually to North Carolina during his young adult years. His roots grew in Hillsborough where he worked as a goldsmith in his backyard studio for nearly 30 years. He thought he was home for good. But with retirement came the eagerness to flee, to leave the familiar “grind” behind for a new adventure. He’s worked hard & it will take him longer, I believe, to unwind, to find home.

Wherever I’ve gone my first instinct has been to create an orderly space that I can call home for whatever length of time evolves. This was such a huge move, leaving so many of our collective items behind, that it seemed even more important to me to dig in, organize, decorate, create the space that I could, we could, call home. That creation, that creativity & resourcefulness, gives me peace, gives me energy, gives me a sense of belonging. It is my life blood.

I’ve often noted in my past that once I could walk or drive down the street wherever I lived & see people wave to me, I was home. It’s happening here for me after only a few weeks. The Mexican store clerk who’s wife is a nurse in Oregon waves & smiles when he sees me in the parking lot. Our lawyer speaks as she passes me on the street. A neighbor honks her horn as she drives by. It’s happening.

Women gather more than men I’d wager. I’ve spent hours already with my female neighbors discussing spirituality & books, food & fabrics & local gossip, or just strolling through the neighborhood. Relationships become the meat of daily life. How can I help the people I know? How can I know them better? Lupita from the Women’s Co-Op; Azucena, our lawyer, & Sophia, her sister; the women selling vegetables on the plaza on Fridays; Carla who waits on us at a local restaurant; Sylvia who answers my questions at the cellphone office; not to ignore male friends-Jorge, owner of my favorite vegetarian restaurant & Roberto, our landlord, who is always so glad to see us wherever we are, and so many more. Already they are part & parcel of my life here.

Finding home is partly about finding services. Groceries: the Tuesday & Wednesday markets & the local “convenience” store serve us well. We buy a few veggies/fruits from the store if we run out but mostly we love the locally made Mexican chocolate bars! Yum! A new twist is the old truck with the loud speaker blasting beautiful Mexican ballads that shows up once or twice a week. “Kooka” offers tamales, chayotes, corn & avocados-6-8 for $1! Beauty shop: Crisco’s Salon is within easy walking distance. Angel & Mary Sol speak excellent English. Haircuts for women here run $12-30, pedicures $12-20. Health care: We already know the Clinica Ajijic & Dr. Rodriquez. I understand there is an integrative physician on the other side of town & I will meet her eventually. Health care is inexpensive, timely & compassionate. Bills: We pay our gas bill at a nearby convenience store, our landline bill online, cellphone bill in person on the other side of town. Small stuff: The “dollar store” near the plaza has most small items we need/want. Pharmacy: Farmacia Guadalajara, a local chain, is on the main highway. Medications are cheap & only psychotropics, antibiotics & narcotics require prescriptions. (Though things like Epsom salts are nowhere to be found here.) There are other pharmacies scattered about town that have some basics but most specialize in one thing or another. My favorite is the Farmacia Homeopatico on the plaza. Hardware stores: There’s one on nearly every block & though they each tend to specialize in something, they all have some basics. Health food store: El Granero is in central Ajijic. What they don’t have they will often order. Costco: I add this because it became an infrequent but dependable source of a few bulk items for me back in NC. Here Costco is an hour away but Lakeside Shopping Service delivers for $7.50 (150 pesos)!

Settling into a routine helps create home as well. The simple act of making a bed has become a task that settles my mind & gives me a feeling of peace & accomplishment. Old fashioned, I know, but perhaps primal as well. Washing clothes & bathing are not as satisfying for me. Washers are notoriously cranky here & ours is no exception. The water pressure in the shower is mediocre & the water heater is too small to provide a nice tub of steamy water to soak in. These things may be particular to our house so for now I have to learn to live with them. It’s different, though, now that we’re retired. I’m learning not to feel guilty if I read novels (historical or otherwise) for hours. I even set up my sewing machine on the terrace yesterday & started on an apron/smock I cut out over 10 years ago. I’ve watched only 1 streamed TV show-British, of course-& don’t miss it much at all. We haven’t gotten a TV yet. It just doesn’t seem to matter right now. But we do keep up with friends & family by email, Facebook & WhatsApp frequently throughout the day. And I must say that it helps me feel connected to all those from the States (Estados Unidos) that I hold dear. Besides! I have a granddaughter due any day now! Gotta stay informed.

Learning the language poco a poco brings me closer to knowing , learning about the Mexican people. Bus & taxi drivers, waiters & waitresses, store clerks. They’re all so willing to help. Lake Chapala Society regularly offers several different Spanish classes. Last week I took a 2 hour class called “Street Spanish”. Who knew that “Adios” can mean hello as well as goodbye? A delightful introduction to the fascial expression/body language of Spanish. More to come. I want to know the people here, to know what is important to them, to know how their lives differ from my own. Relationships. We are all on this planet together. Times are tough. Hold on. Hold hands. Hold hearts. We are all finding home.

Cool gray (gris) days have set in here. That means 45-55 at night & 62-69 during the day. I know. Spoiled, right? Think about it…no heat, unless you turn on the propane space heater. If you can figure out how. So after taking Ben to the doctor/clinic for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, it’s time for a couple of shopping trips. (He doesn’t like to shop anyway, so I don’t feel too guilty.)

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Just what the doctor ordered. Lots of fresh foods, smoothies in particular. Fruits for Vitamin C per Dr. Rodriquez. The Wednesday market (tianguis) is the perfect place to start! But we’ve talked about the market before…

On Thursday I had a shopping “date” with my new neighbor & friend Gethyn. Gethyn is a fiber artist & I am a fiber (fabric) lover. So off we went. Our agendas included shops with handmade clothing &/or home goods as well as machine made clothing designed & created in Mexico. We started with my favorite, Arbol Magico, where everything is imported from Oaxaca & Chiapas (& maybe Guatemala as well).

There is so much to say about Mexican fabrics & clothing. Although the state of Jalisco is not known for its indigenous tribes-only the Huicholes-items from the states of Oaxaca & Chiapas are imported & sold throughout the town, at the markets & in small shops. A riot of color & texture!

Patterns & styles are most often particular to certain tribes throughout Mexico, with symbols & colors that tell the history & status of the wearer. I believe I read-more on this later-that when Spain conquered Mexico each tribe was forced to wear a specific style & color, which included embroidery & patterns on handwoven cloth, so that they could be identified. Over the years much of this has been lost, with many villages having only a few elderly women who wear the native dress &/or women who wear their handiwork only to festivals, creating new work for each event. Much is done with backstrap & treadle looms & hand embroidery, but in the early 21st century came the discovery of the sewing machine which changed nearly everything. Now there is a growing league of Mexican fiber artisans.

My friend Norma Schafer, whom I discovered last year through searching the internet for tours to areas of Mexico where textiles are created, lives part-time in Durham, NC, but spends most of the year in the small village of Teotitlán de Valle outside of Oaxaca City. Through reading her blog (Oaxaca Cultural Navigator) & talking with her, I have learned to love the textiles of Mexico & have a burning desire to accompany her on one of her tours in the near future. Meanwhile, I’ll see what I can find here in Ajijic. http://oaxacaculture.com.

Gethyn & I stopped to eat lunch at the oldest Ajijic establishment (Posada) next to the Lake. The Lake is up right now, way up, from the rains in December, so the elderly lady who used to weave & sell her rugs in the grove of trees next door has been displaced for now. I was hoping to meet her. Next time.

For weeks I’ve been wanting to learn the story of the Women’s Cooperative on a corner not far from the Lake. Finally…We stepped in & were greeted by Lupita, a lovely Mexican woman who explained that she is one of 3 women who own the shop where handmade/embroidered clothing is created & sold. She also has a rack of handwoven & embroidered clothing from Oaxaca & Chiapas. “I pay them everything,” she says. “They are Mexicanas. They put love into each piece. They are my people.” She steps over to a small shelf & picks up a doll (could it be Frida?). “This was just made by a local woman. I designed it, made it up, & she sewed it & made her shoes.” It was beautiful! I wish I had taken a picture. I can go back-but I hope it is sold. Lupita teaches embroidery classes nearby & one of her students walks in with a project so we say our goodbyes. I’ll go back in February, take my friend Norma, & I know that new friendships will be forged.

There are other stops, other shops. But my day has been made by meeting Lupita. (Plus the awe in the face of the shriveled face old Mexican man on the bus when I put a found peso in his hand.) I will go back to buy something from her, to show her my books, to share my interest in Mexican fabric/fiber artisans & helping them be recognized, especially by those who have no idea they exist. More on this topic in the future. It’s time to go home to check on Ben.

Here we are in 2019 & I actually live in AJIJIC, MEXICO! I continue to be amazed on a daily basis & wonder when the vacation will be over. Did I miss my flight??? As they often say here, it’s another day in Paradise!

2 days before the New Year our dear friends Onja & Bill arrived from Durham, NC. Our first guests in our new home. We’d worked diligently to prepare for them, with the side benefit being fairly quickly living in a house that was, for the most part, in order. But we learned a lot in the process. Having the house in order was only part of being prepared.

Soon after they showed up we hitched a bus ride or 2 to the village to show them the flavor of life here. Like me they found the rides interesting & a great way to connect to the local people. The title of my blog became quickly apparent as they observed firsthand the “color in the streets”.

We learned quickly that December through early January are intense holiday times for the Mexicans & many stores & restaurants were closed for days on end. But we had managed to make reservations at a nearby restaurant for New Year’s Eve & were delighted with the results. There were no buses running by the time we left & we weren’t keen on the idea of walking up the dark hill to our Casa Morada anyway, so we “broke down” & called a nighttime taxi for the first time since our arrival. Bingo! Gracias, Juan Carlos.

We took many trips to the village, looking for shops & restaurants to treat our guests to. Often we ended up back home or eating somewhere we weren’t that excited about. But the Tuesday market-on Monday because of the holiday-proved to be a delight & we came home with bags & bags of luscious fruits, veggies & treats. We did make it to Machi Ma & Gosha’s, Taco Frida’s & Casa de Cacao, all favorites.

Tuesday-New Year’s Day. Celebrations abound. We headed to Ocampo (street/calle) & eventually hooked up with the annual “playful” parade to “treat hangovers with a dose of good humor”. Mexicans love a parade & the streets were pretty crowded!

The Wednesday market was a completely different experience for Bill & Onja & one that also delighted. Stalls full of veggies, fruits, clothes, jewelry, pottery, etc. are mixed with stalls of plastic ware (plastico) & junk (another man’s treasure). Fresh cheese (queso fresco) beside fresh sopes (thick tortillas with high edges for filling) gave way to fish stalls & pirated (?) CD’s. We filled our bags again, though with not as much weight due to the required bus ride home.

Thursday-off to Chapala! Another bus ride to this delightful town. Delightful due to the gorgeous Malecon, & , for me at least, the center market. We enjoyed watching the migrated pelicans being fed, crowding together with seemingly no space in between, chasing each other en masse & honking (?) for more. Onja & I drank fresh carrot juice while Bill downed a chili rellano that was more of a meal than he’d bargained for. The bus ride home was serenaded by 2 young men with their guitars for the first lap, then a middle-aged couple-she had NO teeth & sang like an angel.

Friday-last day with our guests for this trip. Ben ended up with a bad cold, confirmed by the local clinic, so Bill & Onja headed out for breakfast on their own, picking up some things they wanted & we needed-including (Thank you!) the plastic to cover the open bathroom ceiling vent that makes our downstairs so cold. After that Onja & I grabbed a ride with my neighbor Vidette who invited us to celebrate her birthday with a few other women at the local hot springs-Termal Cosala. We spent the next 3 hours dipping in different pools-my favorite was the “bubbly” pool-& enjoying sunshine & conversation. It felt good to be included in this group of well- traveled, well-read, intelligent & interesting women. Maybe it was my birthday, too!

We learned a lot about having company so early after moving to a foreign country. We didn’t do so well with the directions (according to the frustrated taxi driver from the airport) & we had no idea so many things would be closed. We’re grateful that they didn’t complain when the water tank (tinaco) ran dry & hope they were warm enough with the limited blanket supply (we need a linen store here!). We were all thwarted by the barrage of noise for hours on end, including across the street from us where the Mexican family chopped wood, cooked for days, set up a long table in the street by their (illegal) bonfire, & blasted their music while all the relatives gathered round. Holidays are not about gifts here (except for today-3 Kings Day) but about relaxing with a gathering of family & friends. We’re glad our friends chose to be with us. We hope they’ll come again!

WE WISH ALL OF YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY THERE BE CLARITY, COMPASSION & CHANGE LEADING US TO THE LIGHT OF PEACE & UNDERSTANDING! WE ARE ALL ONE IN THAT LIGHT.

As I sit here on my terrace in Ajijic, Mexico, it is hard to believe that White Christmas could even exist. It is about 70 degrees & only partly cloudy here. There have been local celebrations but we have missed them all somehow, though the streets are dotted with brightly colored piñatas & the plaza has Mary, Jesus & the Wisemen in their rightful places. Tomorrow we will join a friend at her lovely home for a potluck with 8 or 9 other folks; strangers that may well become friends. It seems to happen easily here. No matter where we go there are locals & gringos ready to discuss whatever comes to mind.

Yesterday 2 of my gringo neighbors joined us here in our little yard to celebrate Christmas with a posada (a celebration happening frequently from December 16 to 24 ) for the 5 little Mexican ninos (children) across the street. Gethyn was the leader with cookies, a piñata & homemade presents for the little ones. Barbara brought juice & good will.

Ben parted our “garage” gates to open our yard to the street then hung the rope of the piñata over the gate frame. He became the “swinger” of the piñata as each child (& some of the adults) took a whack at the shiny swaying object full of candy & peanuts. One by one Arel, Valeria, Josue & Jose stepped up to the plate with giggles & smiling faces. Little Mateo was a bit reluctant but eventually took a turn.

Piñatas are a tradition commonly associated with Mexico. The idea came from the Spanish in the 16th century & was originally used as a religious tradition. The 7 points on the piñata represented the 7 deadly sins, the pot represented evil & the goodies inside the “temptations of evil”. The singing (a special song our neighbors sang that we could not understand), turning & shouting represented the disorientation created by temptation. Beating the piñata represented the struggle against evil & the breaking represented the rewards of keeping the faith. The religious association has lost favor & it is a now a game for parties & celebrations, especially at Christmas. (See Wikipedia for more interesting history.)

We served the children juice & cookies & the adults coffee as we did our best to converse in our limited Spanish. The little ones chatter as if you totally understand them & look perplexed when you don’t know how to answer. The hobby horses & cloth dolls with dresses (made by Gethyn) were a big hit!

Ben & I haven’t had much time to think about gifts but he ended up at a basket store the other day hoping to pick up a nice one I’d spotted as a Christmas gift for me. Problem was I was already there picking it up! And then I scurried off (thanks to my neighbor Vidette) to the nearby plant store to secretly buy him 2 crown of thorn plants since we had to leave ours in NC. A pair of slippers waits for him somewhere between Laredo, TX & Ajijic. Things shut down for days around here now so there’s no telling when he’ll see them. I’m sure they’ll be welcomed anytime.

We are happy here in West Ajijic, in our little purple house. We are ready to relax now that we are beginning to feel a bit more organized. Hopefully there’s a car in our very near future as we’ve realized how time & energy consuming it is to ride a bus when you’ve been shopping. And impossible if you’re trying to buy furniture. We look forward to our first visitors next week & hope they will see what we see in this place we now call home.

To All Our Friends & Family-Feliz Navidad y Feliz Ano Nuevo! Que seas bendecido en el ano que viene! (May you be blessed in the coming year!)

is a very, very, very fine house!  We’ve been here 3 weeks today.  Hard to believe.  Our stuff arrived a week ago.  It’s funny how we pondered why we’d left some things & brought others.  Some of it was based on thinking replacement would be cheaper here.  But it’s not always true.  And there are some things we just plain miss.  But we’ll get over it.  After all, that’s part of the lesson of this whole adventure.  Remember?  Letting go.  We’ve worked hard to set things up-the house, the phone, utilities, etc.-& it’s been pretty exhausting I must say.  My only complaints about the house are 1) It’s cold in here some days!  We have a propane heater but don’t like the (subtle) fumes.  2) The water pressure in our shower is AWFUL!  We’ll be asking to install a pressure system after New Years.

We’ve found all the secondhand shops & scored some great stuff.  We’ve indulged in bags full of produce & GF goodies at the Tuesday Farmer’s Market.  We’re fairly proficient at taking the bus.  And we’ve done a lot of walking.  It’s relatively quiet up here & the neighbors are pretty friendly.  We have a couple of plans for Christmas but haven’t found any of the Mexican celebrations yet.  Maybe next year we’ll be more acclimated.  For now I’ll show you our house as it is for the moment.

And that’s it folks! Let’s see how it looks 6 months from now.  Hasta pronto!

On the mirador at 7:40AM the sun rises as multiple birds sing a dawn chorus.  Mist hangs over the mountains around us.  The lake in front is restless, rippled.  Clouds hover.  But we know they will clear soon & the sky will be a crystalline blue.  Smells of breakfast waft through the air as the man across the street starts his quiet motorcycle & heads off to work, his small boy waving & calling out “dada!”
Neighbor Gethyn (married to Pete) waves from her terrace.  Come over for coffee?  “You’re using plastic ware???  Here, have some silverware.  Need plates & bowls?  Take my extra set for now.  Your washer’s broken?  Use mine.”  UH-mazing!!!  Good news-the trailer with our household goods should be hitched to a trailer in Laredo soon.  Delivery scheduled for this Tuesday.  Yeah!  In the back of my mind I’m thinking-I bet when they unload that truck we’re gonna realize that we kept more than we thought.  Actually, with the exception of clothes & kitchen stuff, we could do just fine with what we already have.  I’m thinking donations & classified’s may be in order.           

2 days later from the den I hear “Chris, are you there? Want to go shopping later?” Vidette is from Santa Fe, invisibly disabled from a life threatening illness years ago.  She is an amazing second hand store peruser & helps me score outdoor chairs & some dishes.  We meet Bill & Barbara outside & on the carretera.  They arrived Tuesday from Ohio.   Behind & around the corner from us are Beto , Sherry & dog Lelu.  Beto came through one morning while Ben was outside, scolding him for leaving trash out.  Dogs had ripped the plastic bags & scattered it everywhere. “You have to have a trash can! You can’t just leave it out.  Listen for the bell.”  That’s right, the bell.  Turns out the trash man wears a loud bell on his trousers as he steps down to pick up trash on the street.  Time to put your trash out!  Time to put your trash out!  They come 3 times weekly.  And they work hard.  Tuesday they left an envelope.  For a Christmas tip.  I can do that.  They deserve it.  Turns out Beto is the neighborhood clean up guy & takes it quite seriously.  After I apologize we break into pleasant conversation which he continues with Ben.  Turns out he’s a hiker & a former bench jeweler.  Other neighbors next door and across the street are Mexican.  Martin nextdoor has a computer job & is gone most of the time.  His place is barely put together & rumor has it it’s up for sale.  Across the street a house half the size of ours holds 3 related families, including 5 small children & 2 pregnant women, 3 men & their mother.  This is not unusual here.  It is these children that we hear outside giggling and playing everyday, sometimes all day.  When I ask their names they speak so quickly that I miss it all. Eventually…There are 3 tinacos (water tanks/cisterns) on their roof & often 3 lines of clothes drying in the sun.  Only Usbaldo speaks English having worked in California at Williams Sonoma & Pottery Barn.  He built the 2 houses across the street where the influence of that work is obvious from the clean lines, tall doors & interesting fabrics. 

On Monday we met with our immigration lawyer to pursue the process of completing our visas within 30 days of crossing the border.  2-3 weeks if we’re lucky.  Then friends drove us by acres & acres of hothouses, through the town of Jocotepec where many of the world’s berries are grown, to Guadalajara COSTCO!  Looks just like any other Costco.  Paid with credit card to avoid peso counting & filled their car to bursting.  Though an hour away, COSTCO seems almost a necessity for buying things in bulk that are so hard to find otherwise.  Our hope is that as we learn our way around we will become accustomed to pequena tiendas that might offer what we need.  Just as in the US, the “small guy” here needs support.  After shopping we’re off to a restaurant for goat stew.  My first.  Yum.

An attempt to buy a car fell through so we (gratefully) continue to take the bus to the village and beyond.  I have come to love the bump bump bump of the smaller buses as they wind their way through village streets.  The skilled drivers safely maneuver in ways you could never imagine.  Occasionally there’s a gringo or two on board but generally it is filled with Mexicans going about their daily chores.  I love being mixed in among them & not a rich gringo who doesn’t want to be involved.  I hope they don’t mind.  

This week I waded into the world of Amazon.com.mx.  Who knows what can of worms I’ve opened up.  Now I have 2 Amazon accounts because it didn’t dawn on me to simply go to my regular account & look for things marked “Eligible for shipping to Mexico”.  So we’ll see what 2 blankets, 1 set of sheets & a book end up costing.  Drove me nuts.  Now, I know some Spanish, but reading Amazon info is a bit beyond me.  So you go to your iPad & you open up the Google Translate camera & point it at the email & do your best to figure it out.  I’ll keep you posted.  By 3pm we were headed out on the bus to the local auditorium for a Christmas jazz concert.  Very professional group of folks with skilled director & pianist (our friend Eleanor) mixed with performances by a local children’s choir directed by a gringo woman.  The young Mexican man who sang “White Christmas” was amazing & loved belting it out.  (Doubt he’s ever seen snow!) Excelente!  Met our friends Dick & Eleanor & other folks at one of the best restaurants in the area-Teocintle.  Great evening.

My  limited Spanish has served us well.  Shop by shop I use a word or two to move us through.  The bank, the restaurant, the mobile phone office, the weaving shop (where I buy seconds of lovely Mexican dishes), the tortilleria (that makes only corn tortillas), the antique store (where I negotiate a deal on a mask for Ben but lose it in the end).  In the bank where we go to set up an account before buying a car, we hand over forms, tourist visas, a bill proving our address & finally Alejandra asks us to show her our house on Google Earth.  Program 2013.  No house for us or Vidette.  Just an empty lot with an old shed.  Like I said, growing fast.

Walls are slowly creeping up behind us as this neighborhood grows just as the one back home did.  West Ajijic is growing so fast that Vidette was told there is no bandwidth left to add more internet users.  A new system is coming & people are paying (dearly) up front to be part of it.   We’ll see.

Mattress time.  Company coming the 29th.  Let’s go to Chapala!  We caught the bus & made our way to Ajijic El Centro first.  Visa pictures to the lawyer’s office.  Back on the bus to the first 2 mattress stores.  The first store is run by 2 Mexican women who speak no English & have no real interest in helping us.  One of the top brands in the fancy store across the street was KINGSDOWN-made 30 minutes from our Hillsborough house.  Funny.  Too pricey.  Lunch at TACO FRIDA.  Best tacos ever.  Vegetarian.  On to Chapala.  Gorgeous little town with a great view of the lake.  Musicians playing.  A group of men dressed in indigenous costumes sit hunched over a makeshift table filled with beads, thread, needles.   Mattress purchased.  Delivery Saturday.  Back on the bus.  Home.  

(I must apologize-Wordpress changed its format & I struggled a bit.  Better luck next time.  Gracias!)

I’ll be honest with you-it’s been a tough few days.  Changing our lives with dizzying speed, saying goodbye to old friends & new, leaving our longterm workplace & home where so much has taken place, entering a new country with new identities as temporary & permanent residents, has been challenging to say the least.

Just today I started to feel a little bit more grounded, rested, relaxed.  We’ve worked so fast for so long to make this happen that slowing down-especially while trying to set up a new living space with limited items-is gonna take some time.  I’ve realized how very (project) driven I am with the chatter in my head constantly pushing me forward.  Time for change.  Time for letting go.  So let me sum up our activities & observations for the past few days.

We spent Monday night at the Comfort Inn in Raleigh & arrived at the airport at 4AM.  We flew United & won’t do that again.  They allow NO carry-on’s so we spent a lot of money checking bags because of our Basic Economy tickets.  Seats were incredibly cramped.  I won’t go on.  Let’s just say we were glad when it was all over & we landed in Guadalajara where we showed our Mexican visas for the first time, listing our residence as Mexico.  A friend picked us up for the 40 minute ride to our new home.  After a brief rest we walked 3 blocks to a small pizza place where we ignored our GF dairy free diets & paid for it for the next couple days.

Wednesday-cold & rainy.  All day.  The 75 degree weather we were prepared for was 65 & our house (no HVAC remember) was flat out cold.  We awakened early & very shortly heard LOUD music.  A truck radio?  Walking out on our terrace we realized it was a live band playing for a neighbor-in the rain-as part of the celebration of construction workers.  That’s right.  They honor their construction workers.  And anyone else they can find a reason to celebrate.  It was quite touching & felt like a personal Bienvenido.  This is Mexico.  Dressed in layers we headed out for a meal at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants then picked up a few necessities for the kitchen at the local “dollar store”.  We took the bus home for 7 pesos (~40 cents) & crashed, wet & cold.

Thursday-rumor had it our housekeeper might not show.  No one seemed sure that she’d been here the first 4 Thursdays so we weren’t sure what to do.  If you let a housekeeper go here, you better have the reason in writing & you can plan on paying her the amount of wages that she’s earned in her time working for you.  This is Mexico.  Gratefully, Chayo showed up.  She is probably in her 30’s, speaks no English & is delightful-& thorough.  I think I actually figured out what she needs for next time-I used Google translate to ask her first.  We stayed here the 4 hours she worked just to, well, make us all feel better I guess.

Friday-We took the bus to the village to eat & shop again.  The streets around the plaza were literally filled with old timey carnival rides.  Bright shiny colors dampened by the rain, water pouring over the cobblestones heading to the lake which is at one of its highest levels.  Vendors of plastic toys, kitchen goods, tight jeans & patterned socks side by side, covered by multicolored tarps.  This is Mexico.  At our favorite vegetarian restaurant owners Jorge & Jessica & their delightful baby boy, Karon (ca-roon), which means “whole being”, greeted us warmly.  The food & atmosphere are comforting…I felt like I was home.

Saturday-Checking on towels hung over the terrace rail to dry, I looked over & saw my Wilmington, NC neighbor waving.  Come for coffee & conversation at 11?  You bet.  We hit it off right away.  New neighbors from Ohio move in next to her on Tuesday.  In the next house 3 related families with children live in a house smaller than any of the others around.  Giggling children step out to play & I say “Hola”.  “Como se llama?”  What is your name?  Who knows what they said but it was a delightful interaction just the same.  This is Mexico.  We met a friend for lunch at a restaurant with white donkeys in the lawn.  Legendary donkeys.  Photo op.  A craft show at the Lake Chapala Society grounds drew us to the village by way of the lake (which is very high now-playgrounds & beaches have disappeared).  “LCS” is the “caregiver” organization that helps gringos settle it, provides services, Spanish classes & a whole lot more.  We take the bus home & crash.  Again.

Words pop into my mind this Sunday morning.  Birds-glorious sounds all day long.  Bus-riding the bus is easy & interesting, as well as cheap.  Stuff-our mover says she expects to deliver our household goods December 19th.  Fingers crossed.  Trash-pick up is laborious here.  Most trucks are older & men jump down-pick up-sling-jump up hundreds of times daily.  They work really hard.  There is a lot of talk about recycling & steps being taken in the village proper for now.  Turns out Mexico is the world leader for PET recycling.  Check it out on YouTube.  Windows-our doors & windows are open all day-this is December!-now that it’s warmed up & dried up a little.  Yoga-on the terrace with the sun pouring in.

Plans for next week include an appointment with an immigration lawyer, COSTCO with friends, a jazz concert & dinner, mattress shopping, rent & electricity to pay…now I understand why residents of the retirement community I worked in were always so busy.  Don’t say YES to committees & groups this year folks tell us.  Get your bearings first.  This is retirement.  Back to my mat!

 

As a bird soars high

In the free holding of the wind,

Clear of the certainty of ground,

Opening the imagination of wings

Into the grace of emptiness

To fulfill new voyagings,

May your life awaken

To the call of its freedom.

                     John O’Donohue

Each day of this journey has brought new challenges, new contacts, new adventures.  We have already learned to live with so little!  The drive to have MORE in our country has been replaced by our willingness to have LESS.  One more day to go…

Family members picked up both cars today.  (Who knew that giving up my car would be such a blow.  Remember my license plate has said “LETTINGO” for years now.  Little did I know.)   Ben’s cousin bought our couch.  Tomorrow another cousin will pick up the mattress, TV & coffee table.  We’re down to scatter rugs, folding chairs & borrowed tables. The food that’s left will go to neighbors-much has already gone to the needy.  Funny how many small items you end up with-toothpaste, bag clips, lotion, scissors/pens, refrigerator magnets, Epsom salts…our suitcases are already full so these things will be left for the renters or thrown away.  We did last minute clean up of the yard this week & moved 2 bookcases out to our new garage storage units.  We’ve called in address changes & stopped mailings.  Done a little cleaning.

We took a break Thanksgiving afternoon to have dinner with friends & their family-4 generations together.  It was delightful.  Thanks Pat & Phil!  Ben’s accountant came Friday & finished up with him for now.  All along there’ve been meals with friends, phone calls & emails wishing us well.  We do not say goodbye.  Only see you later.

I woke this morning thinking of all the reasons we want to move to Mexico.  The maintenance of our place in Hillsborough is more than we want to manage now.  We want a slower life, less expensive.  We want a new adventure, new things to learn.  We love the people & the colors & the weather.  But there were 3 layers to this move, not 1 or 2.  I don’t recommend it.  Not only have we been focusing on clearing out the house, getting visas, etc.  But there was also the layer of unexpected (long delayed-“we can live with that”) house repairs.  And the complexity of Ben shutting down his 40 year business.  Retiring is stressful in itself & though it’s been pretty easy for me so far, for him it is much more complicated.  I recall saying earlier this year-why don’t we wait until Spring? Let you settle into retirement a little first.  Nope.  Getting older.  Gotta go.  It has all taxed us to-no, beyond our limits.  But I feel strong, steady & confident now after organizing so much of the move & making more decisions than I’ve ever made in a such a short period of time.  Though it is bittersweet to leave dear ones behind, I am ready to go.

Tomorrow we’ll turn in our car tags & stop our insurance, zip up our suitcases & hitch a ride with our wonderful renter Christine to a motel in Raleigh.  A decision made to save a little time & angst in light of having to be at the airport @ 4:30AM on Tuesday.  It’ll be a different kind of flight this time…we have Global Entry now (+TSA-Prior Approval) & we’ll only show our passports at RDU.  In Guadalajara we’ll have to show our Mexican visas for the first time.  If we forget & travel as tourists (familiar with the declaration forms they have you fill out on the plane?), we’ll lose our visas & have to start all over!  No thanks.

We arrive in Guadalajara early afternoon where a new friend will meet us & take us to our Mexican home.  Our weekly housekeeper Chayo (chi-oh) has been going in all along so hopefully everything will be intact.  We’ll schedule the arrival of our crated household goods from our movers ASAP.  December 1 we’ll go to a lawyer to begin the process for completing our visa status at the immigration office in nearby Chapala.  We have 30 days to do that-or we have to start all over!  Next task will be to find a second mattress & some porch furniture.  We’ll call a taxi or Uber to take us to buy food at some of the little tiengas on the caraterra (main street through town).  Eventually we’ll buy a car but the bus stop is only 3 blocks away & part of our MO is to use fewer resources.  It will be a new experience for us.

We signed up for internet & a landline while there in August but we’ll see how that goes.  At some point we’ll set up cellphone service but meanwhile we’ll do limited texts & calls.  If you are so inclined you can set up Whats App on your cellphone & we can connect for free.  We’ll have snail mail out of Laredo, TX so if you want that address just send me an email. So we’re off!  And we thank all of you who have helped us in so many ways through this time of tremendous upheaval & change.

After seemingly endless weeks of chores, phone calls, visitors, buyers, repairmen on a near daily basis, I am tired but, gratefully, have hit a state of calm, of grace.  This journey has so far been a challenge and an opportunity for growth.  Not unlike giving birth: extreme difficulty leaving you with life changing results.  Stepping away from fears, old habits & routines.  A fresh start.

Hasta luego mis amigos!  Nos vemos en Mexico!

In light of Thanksgiving I offer these thoughts, brought home to me by this experience of seeking a “better” way to live.

My reading of late has been varied but concentrated mostly on THE BOOK OF JOY, interviews with the Dalai Lama & Archbishop Tutu by Douglas Abrams.  It has awakened a new spirit in me, the spirit of generosity.  “In generosity, there is a wider perspective, in which we see our connection to all others.  There is a humility that recognizes our place in the world and acknowledges that at another time we could be the one in need, whether that need is material, emotional, or spiritual.  There is a sense of humor and an ability to laugh at ourselves so that we do not take ourselves too seriously.  There is an acceptance of life, in which we do not force life to be other than what it is.  There is a forgiveness of others and a release of what might otherwise have been.  There is a gratitude for all that we have been given.  Finally, we see others with a deep compassion and a desire to help those who are in need.”

Raised as a PK-as much as I loved my parents-I was taught to look and act “properly” and to keep all things in order.  I remember moments of generosity of church members but it was almost as if it was our right to receive.  I don’t remember ever discussing the kindness of those acts or that we ourselves should practice generosity.  Over my years of nursing and marriage I became stingy with my time and resources.  I often turned inward rather than reaching out-unless I was on the clock.  At this point in my life, my house and mind cleared of clutter, it strikes me what giving is all about, what generosity truly means.

It is not just a gesture, a word, or a “random act of kindness”, though those things certainly are included.  It is also allowing a person to be who they are without judgement (spoken or unspoken) about their clothes, their words, their deeds.  It is always having something to share, whether it is food, words or time.  Now more than ever we are in need of kindness, understanding and generosity.  In need of moments shared and savored.  It doesn’t take much time or effort to offer a smile or hold a door open.  To listen without imposing our own agenda.  And the rewards of giving bounce back to soothe our own hearts and souls.

So many have reached out to us in this major life transition we’ve taken on.  The basket of kitchen items and food left on the back porch after the movers left, the coat loaned for weeks without hesitation-after the movers left with mine, the offer of a car to be loaned for a full day followed by a ride to the motel before we fly out, the offers of assistance upon our arrival in Ajijic, the shared wisdom of words and healing hands, the offered insight of a healer, the reassurance that this move is brave and courageous and amazing-and can be reversed without penalty if the “experiment” doesn’t work out.  My heart is full.  And cracked wide open.  And I am Thank-full.

So this Holiday season I challenge you to think about what giving truly means.  It isn’t the rush of the crowds to buy the latest advertised items.  It isn’t the strain of working full-time and trying to be the one to “do it all” for the family.  It isn’t a competition of gifts.  It is the Generosity of Spirit that each of us has to offer, if only we let down our guard, stop our internal chatter, and remember that we are all in this together.  What can I do for you today?

I WISH FOR YOU HAPPY HOLIDAYS FILLED WITH JOY, GENEROSITY, ABUNDANCE, AND KINDNESS.