A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHRISTMAS

Well, here it is. The holiday I’ve dreaded for 6 months. Ben loved Christmas, especially Christmas Eve.  So I can’t really tell you why we never went out to celebrate here. This year when our friend Cesar invited me to join our friend Judy at his home for a typical Mexican celebration I decided to say Yes!

Christmas Eve is the big day here.  Especially after dark.  So I found myself in the midst of 20-30 people, some gringos (transplanted here from Texas & Minnesota) but mostly Cesar’s family – a sampling of his 8 sisters (3 live in the US) and 5 brothers as well as his partner Noemi and their 4 beautiful children, all 4 of whom gave me tender hugs on my arrival.  I hadn’t seen the girls in about 3 years, a lot of time and change.  The eldest girl, now 13, told me 3 years ago she wanted to be a doctor.  She still maintains that desire.  Love it.  But I digress…

So the celebration at Cesar’s was a typical Mexican scene…a few concrete block and brick dwellings wrapped around a dirt courtyard.  Several tables end to end covered with cups, bowls, spoons, Squirt (think Mellow Yellow) and tequila.  Then bowls loaded with posole accompanied by shredded cabbage, chopped onions, tostadas (crisp tortillas) and homemade salsas with varying degrees of spiciness – all too hot for me!  (Where were the bowls of cilantro and radishes?)  A few feet from the tables a huge metal pot sat steaming on top of a jerry-rigged grill with piles of hot gray charcoal embers underneath.  Noemi had been cooking all day and served it up with a huge wooden ladle.

Small fireworks – cohetes – popped and flashed by a side wall away from the table while the adults ate and socialized, children and dogs excited by the energy of the festivities.

Bellies full we stood and turned toward the corner of the courtyard where the guys were prepping the piñatas, one at a time.  Hanging above our heads the piñatas were pushed toward the person standing ready with a healthy sized stick, all waiting for the first smash that would break the cardboard and foil “stars” to release the candy held inside.  Some “batters” wore a blindfold.  I did not and took several good swings that brought down a few bits of the inside goodies.  Soon candy flooded the dirt floor as everyone grabbed up all the pieces they could find before the dogs got to them!

There were other events in town during the day I’m sure but today when I walked with Tumi on our usual Sunday stroll along the malecón then through town and back to the car…not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  I’ve never seen it so quiet.  Totally peaceful down by the lake…except for one group in the park playing loud crazy music.  

There’s a Christmas Eve tradition in Mexico of building small (or large) bonfires in the street, drinking tequila and blasting music all night. Cesar had told me it’d been outlawed but it was obvious to me in town and on my own street this morning that that ritual hasn’t totally disappeared.  I saw several beds of coals next to sidewalks and felt the heat rising from them as I held my palm over to test.  I’d say a few folks went to bed very recently.

I’ve enjoyed my little wooden tree and my porch lights, candles and my snowman collection on Ben’s altar.  Now I’m waiting for my friend Vidette to arrive with her 2 poodles while our preordered meal from a wonderful local restaurant sits waiting to be heated. The blender is prepped for a mango margarita or 2 and Christmas music of all sorts sings out from the TV.  Thanks YouTube.

I’ve sent out ecards and messages to all I could think of and hope I haven’t forgotten anyone.  Amazon delivered presents for my granddaughter Hazel.  It’s strange to be here without Ben.  We didn’t miss a Christmas together in our 20 years, the first several celebrated with his large family, a few with my son.  This is surely different.  But last night I met 2 widows at the party, 1 of 2 years, 1 of 2 weeks.  In such different places mentally and emotionally.  The one 2 years out assured me it would get better, easier.  She’d known her husband since they were 4 years old and lost him in a matter of 2 hours.  To see her smiling, reaching out to me, gave me great hope, – no, more than that – reassurance, that life will change, will get better.  Learning, growing, taking it all in.  It isn’t easy.  Yet here I sit, feeling blessed.  Feliz Navidad everyone!