Waiting To Exhale

Sometime in the middle of the night I remembered to breathe again. My mind has been racing for days – getting here, adjusting, finding our way around. Processing the problems and potentials. Can we do this? should we do this? how do we do this??? whoa…Put the breaks on. Disfruta el dia! (Enjoy the day!)

Night sounds bird songs children playing and laughter in the streets. The old man in the produce store spearheads a shop packed with black plastic trash bags (plastico negro) and children, babes to teenagers; his vegetales looking as tired as he does through his snaggle-tooth smile. The convenience store clerk leaves his counter to guide us around the corner to buy our own trash bags, opening a package of smaller ones to show me the size.  He didn’t have to do that.  The smiling cooing hermosa bebe (beautiful baby) of the owner of the best vegetarian restaurante in town is deeply loved & shows it. A donkey brays nearby and an occasional horse climbs the cobblestone street with its rider. A few stray dogs wander. A gringo with a yoga mat slips insider her door but hears our comments and steps out to chat. Six months here and loving it. We strike up a conversation over breakfast with a couple running a B & B soon-to-be-retreat center. Instant friendships and shared stories abound.

There is so much we want to do in this month that is already flying by.  Chapala market, Tuesday organic market, Wednesday food and artisan market, Jocotepec, Guadalajara, friends to visit, the bakery (panaderia), even Walmart (to see what’s available)…the Malecon, Arbol Magico (my favorite clothing store with goods from Oaxaca).  Hiking, coffee shops. So much we don’t know yet, haven’t seen yet.

My clothes stand out making me an obvious gringo (too blonde, right?). Clothes I’ve barely worn after years of nursing. A homeless man sleeps in his stench on an abandoned restaurant bench. Are gringos pushing the locals out or giving them much-needed work-or both? The PK in me wants to make it all right. Not to be part of the problem. Missionary work. Presumptuous. These are for the most part some of the happiest people I’ve ever seen.

I don’t have to decide yet. Or have I already? Processing. Always processing. Rightfully so. It is a lot to digest. It’s 2:30am now and I have finally remembered to breathe……..